Most relationships start off sweet, with butterflies in your tummy; what is popularly known as the “honeymoon stage.”

This honeymoon stage is also prevalent at the beginning of marriage because of the newness of the marriage.

But I digress.

In a relationship, this is a period where you want to see each other every time, you actually miss each other when you are apart and when you voice it out; it is not just a formality that is expected of you in a relationship.

This stage is the best time to figure out if your partner feels the same way you do or not.

Many times, we are blinded to the many red flags that we should have taken note of because we are so consumed by our feelings.

Nobody should waste any time being in a relationship with someone who is not worth it. That is why I am here to help you figure out red flags to watch out for in a relationship.




1. You Are Not Happy

What better way to know that you are in the wrong relationship than when you are not happy?

If you are in a relationship where you are unhappy, then you really shouldn’t be there.

Let me clarify, nobody really is in charge of your happiness and a human being cannot ALWAYS make you happy; that is too much responsibility for the imperfect man.

That means you have to find happiness from within, in the first place. As Christians, we find joy in constantly being in God’s presence.

Basically, you have to be happy on your own; your partner should simply add to it because if you aren’t happy as a person, there is really nothing anyone can do.

However, your partner should make it a priority to do things that make you happy. If you don’t feel that energy from your partner, then it is something to question.




2. Lack of Transparency

One of the red flags to watch out for in a relationship is a lack of transparency.

There is a difference between honesty and transparency: honesty is telling the truth when asked whereas transparency is talking about all you know your partner needs to know even without them asking.

A person who sees long term with you will be transparent with you and let you know everything you need to know.

If they are evasive, vague and omitting important information, it is a huge red flag.


3. Keeping the Relationship a Secret

There is a difference between being private and being secretive.  A lot of people have fallen for the trap of being kept a secret in the name of being private.

In this era of social media where everybody feels the need to share every piece of information about their life with the world, I am all for keeping private things private.

But when they can’t even tell their loved ones about you, then they have crossed the line of keeping you private, you are now a secret and you should be worried.

Someone that loves you will want to show you to the world; much more people they care about.


red flags to watch out for


4. Your Partner Never Takes Responsibility but Always Blames You

A partner that never takes responsibility but always blames you is a red flag you should watch out for in a relationship.

Nobody is perfect, so it is very normal to wrong your partner in a relationship. Thus, it is expected that whoever offends the other should take responsibility and apologise for their wrong.

But if they always find a way to direct the blame back to you and never take responsibility, it is a huge red flag that should not be tolerated.


5. Your Loved Ones Don’t Approve

The truth is that most times, our loved ones serve a better judge of a situation we are into because they are not involved and have a better perspective.

It is easier for them to know the person you are with is shifty than for you to figure it out, not with all the butterflies in your tummy.

It is very normal to have one or two family members or friends that do not approve because of one wrong reason or the other.

But if the majority of your loved ones don’t approve, you need to take a sit back and objectively find out why.

These people have known you longer and most of them cannot be wrong; you should at least investigate before discarding their worries.


6. Abusive

Another red flag you should watch out for in a relationship is if they are abusive.

If you want to try to understand and excuse every other thing in this article, abuse is something you should never tolerate. Don’t excuse it because there is no justification for abuse.

Any form of abuse should not be tolerated; whether physical or emotional.



7. You Are Not Free to Be Yourself

We are all flawed and should continually strive to be better people.

We are also all unique and what makes you unique is what makes you, you.

While your relationship should indeed inspire you to be a better person, it should inspire you to be a better version of yourself and not anybody else.

If your partner is trying to make you somebody you are not, they really shouldn’t be dating you. they should be dating the person they want to make you into.

You should always feel free to be yourself; a relationship where you feel you have to be someone else to be accepted is a wrong relationship for you.


8. Your Instinct Is Screaming “Red Flag”

A lot of times we ignore our instinct but our gut really does let us know what is right and wrong.

If your instinct is screaming and not at peace, it is one of the big red flags to watch out for. You should feel at peace with your decision to be with someone.

That discomfort you feel is your instinct protecting you. At the very least, investigate why you feel the way you do.