Is my boyfriend ashamed of me?

This is a question that should never cross our minds when we are in a happy and healthy relationship.

But we all know life is not exactly black and white; there are many shades of grey as well. So, it is possible that you have wondered or are wondering if your boyfriend is ashamed of you.

Well, there is nothing wrong with having doubts as far as you get an answer to either clear or confirm your doubts. After all, the first step to solving a problem is to identify the problem.

So, if you can relate to asking this question, “is my boyfriend ashamed of me?”, then this is for you. I have highlighted 7 sure ways to confirm if your boyfriend is embarrassed by you in this post; find them below.


  1. You’re a Secret Girlfriend

There are many people who like to keep their private lives off the gram and that’s quite understandable, after all, you don’t owe strangers the private details of your life.

However, there is a thin line between privacy and secrecy.

Privacy means everybody – or most people – in your private life knows you are dating but don’t know the intimate details of your relationship.

Now, if you are a private person or your boyfriend claims he is, this is what you should be gunning for.

If, however, the only persons who know about your relationship are the two of you, then there is something wrong.

Most likely, he is ashamed of you or he is not serious about you. A man who is proud of his girl will not mind screaming on the rooftop that you are his girlfriend.

If he is keeping you a secret, it is a big red flag.




  1. He Won’t Introduce You to His Family and Friends

Another great way to know if you are plagued with the question, “is my boyfriend ashamed of me?” is that he won’t introduce you to his friends and family.

In fact, this is quite similar to the point above.

I mean, I get that not everyone is extroverted and have many friends. But even introverts have one or two friends and most people have one or two family members they get along with.

Is he refusing to introduce you to them even though there is an opportunity to meet?

If there are circumstances hindering you, such as distance, that’s understandable. But if he keeps hesitating when you should have met these people, you should be careful.

As a matter of fact, even in the case of distance, we have seen men who let their girl speak to their people on the phone to meet them.

But they will latch on to any excuse in the world to hide a girl they are not proud of.


  1. He is Trying to Change You

No man or woman is born perfect, so we should all be open to making changes to wrong attitudes and behaviours. And you shouldn’t mind if your partner calls your attention to them.

However, on the flip side, we are all different and are simply meant to be a better version of ourselves and not someone else.

Is he trying to make you into someone you are not?

Are you goofy and playful and he finds that classless or are you reserved and he thinks you should be more outgoing?

Then “is my boyfriend ashamed of me” shouldn’t be a question you should be asking because it is clear.

He most likely isn’t proud of you. He has an image of his perfect girl and he is trying to make you into her.


is he ashamed of me?


  1. He Puts You Down

Those who profess to love us should be our greatest pillar of support and strength; they should be our greatest cheerleaders.

However, if you note that your boyfriend never sees any good in you, never appreciates your efforts, never celebrates your wins and never actively contribute to your progress, you need to sit down and have a rethink.

If he’s constantly saying hurtful and demeaning words, putting you down or belittling you even in public and trivializing the things that mean so much to you like your goals, dreams and visions, you need to understand that he’s ashamed of you and you need to start planning an exit.


  1. He Never Takes You Out

Some people are homebodies and as an introvert, I can relate to preferring indoor dates to outdoor dates. This is because I feel more comfortable in intimate settings than in a crowd.

However, I wouldn’t want to be with a guy who doesn’t want to take me out at all and nobody should.

Like I said earlier, if a man loves you and is proud of you, he wouldn’t mind shouting it on the rooftops.

Now, please note that this is figurative. He might not post you on social media because he is private or is not social media savvy and he might not broadcast it to the public, but he won’t keep you hidden.

It is not normal if your boyfriend never wants to see you outside or be seen with you in public.


  1. No Talks About the Future

All serious lovers discuss the future together, whether consciously or indirectly.

Even couples who have decided not to get married make other plans for the future together. So, what’s his excuse?

The only reason why anybody will not discuss or relate to the future with their partner in mind is either because they are uncertain or they don’t see their partner in their future.

After a while in a relationship, you should start hearing “us” and “we”. A conversation of only “I” in a relationship is suspicious.

It is very likely he’s not interested in taking it further with you.




  1. You Know

Our gut instinct is not exactly wrong. Most of the times, when we feel something strongly, it is because it’s true.

Most times, if we want to be honest with ourselves, we probably already know when someone is wrong for us but we prefer to live in denial because facing the truth is uncomfortable and painful.

If you already know that your boyfriend is ashamed of you, he probably is ashamed of you.

Stop making excuses, investigate why you feel the way you do – at the very least – then make a decision based on what you find out.

You deserve to be happy and you shouldn’t cut yourself short.


In conclusion, like I always say, while I don’t suggest you make a rash decision if you see one or two of these signs in your relationship, you should definitely not sweep it under the rug.

Talk to him, ask him to be honest – he might not – and watch out for inconsistency. If after the conversation, you still don’t feel settled, you are unhappy or you can still see he is embarrassed to be seen with you, you should take it as that and get out of that situation.