Is he into me or not?

This is a question that many of us can relate to.

The guy could be a friend or a guy we just met and he’s giving mixed signals. Or it could be a guy we are interested in and wondering if he feels the same.

In some cases, he might be into you but too shy to express his feelings or he is restrained for fear of rejection.

But sometimes, it just means that he is not that into you.

How do you tell the difference? That is the million-dollar question, which I have tried to answer in this article.


  1. He Is Commitment-Phobe

Or at least with you, he is. He might not be scared of commitment in the actual sense but when he is refusing to commit to you, it is a big sign that he is not that into you.

If a man wants you to be his girlfriend or his wife, he will push for it to happen – except you are not interested.

But a guy that is evading commitment is not interested in committing, you should move on.




  1. He Doesn’t Respect You

If he is emotionally, verbally or physically abusive; flirts with other women in your presence, treats you like you don’t matter and only remembers you when he needs something, he doesn’t care about you.

In this case, you shouldn’t bother wondering what you mean to him, it is clear you don’t mean anything to him because we all respect people we love.

In fact, I would say this is a big red flag in a relationship and even if a guy is interested in you but doesn’t respect you, you should be ending the relationship.




  1. He Is Not Interested In Knowing You

This might not seem like a big sign but it is one of the biggest ways to know if a guy is into you or not. A guy that wants a relationship with you will want to know you.

He will be interested in the smallest details because he wants to know what makes you tick. He will ask questions about you and show you that he is interested in the answers.


  1. He Doesn’t Spend Time With You

Think about how much you want to be around someone you have feelings for. You always want to see them, hear their voice and you get excited in their presence, whether virtually or physically.

Of course, he doesn’t have to always be the one keeping in touch; there are times you will reach out first.

But if you are the one always reaching out first; if he doesn’t ever initiate dates, find excuses not to see you or talk to you, he is not into you.


  1. He Only Wants Your Body

It might flatter you that he is after your body but if that is the only thing he is after, you should, in fact, be insulted because surely, you have much more to offer than your body.

Sure, physical attraction comes with the package of having romantic feelings for someone. And as a matter of fact, if there is no physical attraction involved, there is a problem – even if you are both practising celibacy.

But that should not be all you have going for you and if that is all he is interested in, he doesn’t care for you.


Signs he is not that into you


  1. He Is Unreliable

He is neither here nor there; hot today, cold tomorrow. You can’t depend or rely on him because you are never sure what he would do.

He has never shown you any sign that he got you – and I’m not speaking of just through his words but also his actions.

You are not sure that if you ever needed him, he would be there because he has never been there in the past or he is inconsistent.

A man who puts you in this situation is not into you.


  1. He Hasn’t Introduced You To His Family Or Friends

If a man loves you, the first people that will know are his family and friends. He might not post you on social media because he is a private person but he will tell people close to him about you.

When someone loves you or are interested in you; they will want you to be involved in every aspect of their life. So, it is a huge deal if he is hesitating to introduce you to his family and friends.




  1. He Is Not Interested In Meeting Your Family Or Friends

In the same vein, if they are not interested in meeting your family or friends; there is a high chance they are not there for the long run.

You can still make excuses for not meeting his family soon enough if they are not close by but if you invited him to places where he will meet your family and he keeps evading, he is most likely avoiding committing, so he doesn’t want to get involved that deep.

A man that loves you and wants to be a part of your life will be pushing to be introduced to your family and friends.


  1. You Are Not Sure Where You Stand

Most men are known to go for what they want; a guy knows if he wants to have a relationship with you and he will let you know either through his words or actions if he is a shy person.

If you are not sure where you stand with him; if he is inconsistent in showing you what you mean to him or he is doing something different from what he is saying, it is a huge sign that he is not that into you.

When a man is interested in you, you will be sure where you stand in his life.


  1. You Know In Your Guts

Most times, we underestimate the power of our instinct when it usually guides us right. If you feel it in your guts that the guy is playing games with you or the guy doesn’t feel the same way you do, chances are you are right.

It doesn’t mean that you immediately go with your guts without investigating, but don’t ignore your instincts.



I need to add here that if you see one or two of these signs, it doesn’t automatically mean he is not into you; there might be other things involved that you need to communicate with him to find out.

But if you experience a combination of most or all of these signs, you should take a step back and access the situation; you are very likely with someone who is not into you.