Wanting to be loved and having a companion comes naturally to most of us and it is nothing to be ashamed of. But it is one thing to be loved genuinely and another thing to think we are loved genuinely.
Most relationships start sweet and rosy and the couple are usually in love with each other. But sometimes, things go sour and while we expect that people speak out when they feel it, sometimes, they don’t. Most men did not grow up talking about their feelings, so when they are tired and have given up on the relationship, they might still hang around.
However, nobody wants their partner to be with them out of obligation or because they are reluctant to talk about how they really feel. I’m sure you will want to know if he has given up on the relationship; these tips will help you.
1. He Spends More Time Alone or with Others than with You
No denying the fact that it is healthy to spend some time apart from each other, absence, after all – they say – makes the heart grows fonder but then, when your man starts spending quality time with others outside of the relationship and doesn’t include you, that’s a huge warning sign that probably, he has given up on the relationship. In all sincerity, there are moments in a relationship when both parties just want their space to think things through and evaluate situations but it must be structured and a timeline must b placed on it because the less time they both spend with each other, the greater the communication chasm.
2. The Tone of Speech Changes
How does he speak to you now compared to how he does before? Once he’s no longer interested in you, he will likely drop the endearments and go back to calling you by name. Also, he might become sarcastic where he was teasing before; he might become short-tempered where he was patient in explaining before and he might take things out on you, whether you caused the situation directly or not. These are all signs that he might be done with the relationship.
3. The Little Things Stop
Remember how he used to pick up flowers for you on his way back from work? Or how he would always bring back a souvenir from his business trips? Or how he would always pop into your place of work during lunch hours to grab a bite with you? All those little things that matter to you will suddenly cease and with time, stop completely if he’s no longer interested in you and best believe that he’ll always look for excuses while he’s no longer doing those things.
ALSO READ: ROMANTIC GESTURES THAT CAN KEEP YOUR LOVE ALIVE
4. Awkward Moments
You know how both of you used to enjoy your companionable silence? Well, if you notice that the silence around you both becomes awkward and tense, you might want to start considering that he has given up on the relationship. Also, you find that you are the one always bringing up things to discuss or forcing conversations to occur because he is distant and therefore, has little or nothing to contribute.
5. From 50/50 To 80/20
If you discover that your man isn’t sharing responsibilities with you as he used to, does not reply to text messages on time until when he is chanced, does not meet up for dinner as you all usually do, then something is wrong somewhere. Action, they say, speaks louder than words, therefore, when he starts drawing back from doing the normal ‘stuff’ you both do and always giving excuses, then you might want to take notice. In essence, once you start feeling as if you’re the one literally carrying the weight of the relationship, he may not be interested anymore.
6. The Magic Phrase Disappears
Once the exchange of “I love you” in relationships disappear, there is usually something wrong. In fact, the reduction of it shows that the relationship is in crisis. When you are ALWAYS the first to say you love him – especially if that wasn’t the case before – and he is usually reluctant to say it back when you do, he is already out of the relationship, he is just there to keep the peace.
ALSO READ: CREATIVE WAYS TO SAY I LOVE YOU
7. He’s Emotionally Detached
Your partner may not be one of those who stop saying the ‘L’ word or stops taking you out, he may still be doing all those little things and still spend time with you like before but he might be doing all those out of a sense of responsibility, out of rote. It becomes merely mechanical rather than enjoyable and spontaneous. He might be delaying walking out on you for many reasons but he’s definitely not into you as he was initially. For this type of man, the fact that he is emotionally unavailable will be subtle but you can still figure it out if you are carefully observant. And sometimes, you will just know in your guts.
ALSO READ: HOW TO IDENTIFY AN EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE PARTNER
8. He Asked for Space
This is probably the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Once your man has the dreaded conversation of wanting space to think and re-evaluate, there is a greater chance that he might just not be coming back into that relationship. Asking for space is never a good sign in a relationship; if he does, it might be his subtle way of letting you know he has given up on the relationship.
Conclusion
Relationship is hard work and not all bed of roses. It takes two to tango, takes two to make things work. If your man is exhibiting some or all the signs listed above, most likely, he has given up on the relationship. Remember, however, not to jump the gun by breaking things up because you recognize these signs in your man, have a conversation addressing these issues before making a decision.
02/04/2024 at 11:00 PM
I need a man. Am depressed. Am losing my mind gradually.
09/04/2024 at 6:38 PM
Hi, I am sorry you feel sad. Please don’t let the fact you are single bring you down. Your man is out there and you will meet him. In the meantime, get busy. Get involved in activities that will improve your career or business. Make female friends and enjoy the company of family. And more importantly, get closer to God. I wish you all the best, this too shall pass. There is a lot to enjoy being single, instead of being sad, use this time judiciously to improve your life. Cheers
27/08/2023 at 5:43 PM
He’s a narcissist and shows no emotion towards me. We sleep in separate bedrooms and he barely touches me. I avoid him as much as possible but I am so broken inside and financially cannot leave.
Stuck & Miserable
Lynna Manegio
20/09/2023 at 10:08 AM
Try finding a job, any job, wether house keeping, baby sitting, anything that can bring you any income. That will just be the starting point.
22/08/2023 at 3:41 PM
All the mention above are exactly what I am facing, he don’t want to spend time with me anymore like going out dinner, movies and dates and all the more he don’t hold hands at public. But he does all this with his friends and till today he still say that he love me I’m really done with this treatment.
23/08/2023 at 1:50 PM
If he doesn’t want to spend time with you, there is a high chance he is no longer interested in the relationship. And like it is often said, “when people show you who they are, believe them.” His actions should back his words if he loves you.
18/09/2023 at 1:37 AM
I got to the point where I date myself.
28/09/2023 at 1:05 AM
If you want to be happy, and everyone definitely deserves happiness, pick yourself up and leave him. Yes, you’ll be poor, it’ll be hard, very hard! But it’s the only way you will be able to be available if the RIGHT man comes your way AND there’s nothing wrong with being single! Find friends who share your interests and ENJOY LIFE!! Throw your ‘Love Engergy’ into wonderful friendships. And get a dog
10/10/2023 at 8:50 AM
❤️❤️❤️
05/08/2023 at 9:05 PM
I’m going through this now and true to wats left of my heart and dignity. I stood up for myself, and took an open opportunity one day he left w his mother, because of another common dispute with me. So i kicked him to the curb… I wasn’t tolerating his neglect ,and lack of love for me. I love him but I love me more..
16/08/2023 at 2:01 PM
I am happy you are doing better now.
05/08/2023 at 12:07 AM
Relate to this so much! Together for 13 years 2 kids and there is always an excuse, feelings turn into fights, unless he needs me I don’t exist. Hardest thing to do is fight your head and heart at the same time and don’t have a clear picture or path on what it is that you need to do. Not to mention scary. I hope every women can take my advice since I can give it but can’t take it. Put yourself first, make your happiness a priority. Your kids will only care that you are happy rather than seeing you hurt, sad, on edge. A happy mom is all that kids need
13/07/2023 at 5:06 PM
My marriage is like this. He will never touch me. I would love just to be touched. He never shows any affection.
10/07/2023 at 9:52 PM
He says he loves me but doesn’t show or make me feel it. We dnt have sex either. He gives me his back in bed every night. But no other man can have me
28/07/2023 at 1:56 PM
My fiancée is doing all these things and I’m worried because I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to be here but then don’t think that you can come back in a few months after you leave because I won’t be here and he is always snapping at me for nothing and I just wish that he would be a man and say what he wants
16/08/2023 at 2:03 PM
You should probably have a conversation with him to ask him what he wants, and then make a decision base on his response.
05/08/2023 at 12:03 AM
Going through this I can relate so much
08/07/2023 at 4:16 AM
I’ve been married for 22 years and don’t feel anything anymore. I don’t feel anything from him either. He says he loves me but I don’t feel it. We haven’t even had sex on a year!
21/06/2023 at 7:05 PM
This type of feeling hurts to the core of one’s being. It’s like a never ending bee sting right in the middle of one’s heart.
30/06/2023 at 1:28 PM
You have properly captured it, Tiffany. Although it might painful, this is why we need to love ourselves enough to make the right decision for us.
28/07/2023 at 1:59 PM
So true and you don’t even know how to act or what to say because regardless of how you are you’re always the bag girl and then when you get upset or mad he says you’re unstable or hostile or just plain rude or being a bitch and it’s not fair because they don’t realise how bad they have treated us
19/06/2023 at 2:43 PM
I’ve been going through this for the past 4 years.
Together 23yrs. All he says is “It’s not like that” Really
I just can’t let go. I love him Too Dam Much
30/06/2023 at 1:30 PM
Wow, I can imagine how you must feel. Perhaps you can have a honest conversation with him to see what the issue is or if he is open, you can both see a therapist.
19/06/2023 at 3:59 AM
Hi i’m going through this but it mostly included his twin sister i alway choose his family over me.
30/06/2023 at 1:33 PM
Hi CiCi, I am so sorry you are going through this. You definitely deserves someone that chooses you as much as you choose them. Perhaps you can have a conversation with him to tell him how you feel about being considered last. Make sure it is a polite and honest conversation with no accusations, maybe, he doesn’t realise what he is doing and you bringing it to his attention will let him know.
11/06/2023 at 9:16 AM
I’m going throw this now together 20 years and because of how he is acting I told him I was done he was already cheating on me
14/05/2023 at 7:08 AM
Some of these things are happening to me but he’s always giving excuses really m tired
15/06/2023 at 3:40 PM
I am so sorry you are going through this. I understand how you feel.
22/03/2023 at 9:27 AM
That is what I experience currently from my boyfriend… not a good feeling
28/04/2023 at 12:39 PM
I am so sorry you are going through this. I can imagine how you feel.
20/06/2023 at 9:17 PM
Mine has a chronic cheating, what makes me more sick is that we had a joint account but he decided to cancel it behind my back so that I don’t see how he’s spending money. I think I’m now in a breaking point. Tired of forgiving him.
30/06/2023 at 1:35 PM
That’s a lot. I am sorry you are going through this. I wish I could say I know how you feel but I don’t. I wish you all the best in whatever decision you decide to take.