I have often heard that guys are attracted to what they see, and I believe that’s true to some extent. However, it will be a mistake to think that’s all they look out for; it isn’t, especially when it concerns a serious relationship.
When a guy is considering a relationship for marriage, in most cases, his choice won’t solely be based on the external; he would also consider other things that would make living with her enjoyable for him.
Plus, guys are a lot more perceptive than we give them credit for. I say that to say guys are not only attracted to your looks; they also look out for other things, even unique things we may not think about.
That said, let’s look at some of the unique traits men are attracted to in women.
And don’t worry, I didn’t just come up with all these from my head. I rounded up my male friends, brother, cousins, brother’s friends and colleagues for this.
What you are getting is their top answers.
Unique Traits Men Are Attracted to in Women
1. Playful Sense of Humour
There is no way this wouldn’t be first on the list because I think everybody loves someone with a sense of humour. Except, of course, they are naturally grumpy people.
So, it’s not so surprising that the men I spoke to mentioned this as the top unique thing they look out for in a woman.
Most of them mentioned they love a woman who knows how to laugh and make others laugh, too.
But to be honest, I have always known this of men that they love witty women; one who can give as much as she can take.
They enjoy a woman who can handle banter without being necessarily offended by it.
They are very attracted to women who can laugh at themselves and don’t take themselves too seriously.
2. Emotional Intelligence
Considering this trait is becoming rare, I can understand why men love an emotionally intelligent woman.
A woman who can read the room, respond with empathy, and communicate without drama is refreshing.
Many people are so oblivious that they speak when they shouldn’t and even stay silent when they should speak. So, men like women who can read emotions; theirs and those of other people.
They want a woman with enough empathy to not shut down other people’s emotions even when they can’t relate.
In essence, if you ask me, emotional intelligence is just being mature and wise; knowing when and when not to act.
I believe everyone would be attracted to that.
Also Read: A Wise Woman Will Never Marry a Man With These Traits
3. Genuninely Enjoys Life
I know I have mentioned that I know or even understand the thought process behind the first two, but this is one point that surprised me.
Yes, the men I spoke to said they love a woman who genuinely enjoys life. Of course, they had different descriptions for it, but that was basically it.
They love a woman who is genuinely curious about the world. A woman who does not hesitate to enjoy whatever she is doing; trying a new hobby, learning random facts, or asking thoughtful questions.
It communicates to them that she’s mentally strong, open to growth and doesn’t give up easily. Because she is not sad about life, but is full of positivity, which radiates.
Many of them said that kind of energy is contagious, and being around her makes life feel like an adventure.
4. Ability to Enjoy Silence Together
Personally, one of the reasons I love being around my best friend is that we enjoy comfortable silence together. So, I was excited to hear that men feel the same way.
Many people cannot handle silence when they are together because they are not comfortable enough around each other.
But seriously, not every moment needs to be filled with talk, and men truly appreciate a woman with whom they can enjoy that with.
One of them told me it shows that they are deeply connected to each other.
He said that while he enjoys a good conversation and healthy communication, he also wants to be able to enjoy a quiet car ride or a lazy Saturday evening just being.
5. Creative Problem-Solving
Beside some of the men I spoke to mentioning this, I remember a Twitter thread from a while back where men complained about women who didn’t have any problem-solving qualities.
You know, those women who look to their men for everything.
Now, don’t get me wrong; I know men love being heroes, and even they would readily admit they love helping and protecting their women.
However, they don’t want a woman who depends on them for everything.
They also want someone they can depend on when they are weak, and since they are not God, there will be times like that when they will need you to be the strong one.
So, if it seems like you are lily-livered and quickly break down at any hint of challenge, they may not be as attracted.
They want a woman who can think on her feet and find smart solutions; one who always approaches problems with creativity, rather than panic.
Again, you are allowed to be weak sometimes; they just don’t want that to be all the time. They also need a woman who can hold their hand and assure them they’ve got this.
6. Warm and Nurturing
I understand how this can be taken badly, especially as society sometimes abuses a woman’s warmth.
But that warmth that some women naturally carry is attractive.
Men are drawn to a woman who is warm and nurturing in the way she speaks, listens, cares, and just shows up.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to be overly motherly; I don’t even support that. What this means is that you can genuinely offer comfort, encouragement, and emotional support that communicates to people that you are a safe space.
7. Graciousness in Disagreement
Disagreements are inevitable in a relationship. Honestly, I suspect a relationship where the couple don’t disagree at all; at least in the beginning.
So, a mature man knows there will be disagreements; however, he also wants to know how a woman handles them.
Does she handle them with grace or does she yell, throw guilt trips, or worse, silent treatments?
Does she listen, express herself calmly, and know when to step back and cool off or does she throw tantrums and never let him speak?
Men appreciate graciousness in arguments, not to accept his BS, but to seek a resolution without drama.
And even when that resolution means breaking the relationship, a gracious woman still does it with emotional maturity.
That’s something they look out for.
8. Thoughtful Giver
We live in a society where the man is supposed to be the provider while the woman takes care of the home.
But I have never been a fan of that dynamic, honestly, because I think it’s an oversimplification of men and women’s relationships.
I believe men want to be pampered with gifts just as much as women don’t always want to be homemakers. So, if we make these roles rigid, we will have people who never reach their true potential in relationships.
That’s why I was not surprised to hear them mention thoughtful givers.
I have heard many women talk about how expensive guy things are and I agree. But gift giving is not about buying expensive gifts, it is more about being thoughtful.
I am sure there are some men who are leeches, but those are not worth your time anyway; the men who are worth the time will always appreciate the effort.
Of course, if you can afford it, loving him would mean spending your money on him – within reason, of course.
But if you can’t, do you remember his favourite things, like say, his favourite snack?
Can you send him sweet texts before a big meeting?
Can you help him out with something that makes his life easier?
Or can you plan a date night that reflects his interests?
If you can do that, you will see that grand gestures are not really what matters – if you can’t afford it. Just a little show of attentiveness and genuine care goes a long way for many worthy men.
9. Self-Worth
It always seems like men love women without self-worth. But only low-class men that you shouldn’t be with anyway want that.
Real men who are seeking real relationships like confidence and self-worth in a woman.
They want a woman who knows her value, doesn’t need constant validation, sets healthy boundaries, and doesn’t settle for less than she deserves.
Remember that confidence is not arrogance, as sometimes, there can be a thin line between the two.
As long as it’s not arrogance, men respect women who carry themselves with quiet confidence and self-respect.
Also Read: Habits of a Confident Woman
10. Willingness to Grow and Evolve
We’re all works in progress, and men admire women who embrace that. So, they want a woman who is open to learning and growing.
A woman who is completely blind to her flaws is not attractive.
They are more drawn to a woman who’s not stuck in her ways or afraid to admit when she’s wrong.
Bottom Line
Although this list is not exhaustive, as there are other traits they love like the ability to hold a conversation and kindness, these are some of the unique traits men are attracted to in women.
FAQs
1. What do guys secretly find attractive in a girl?
Many guys secretly find things like a genuine laugh, a quirky hobby, or a kind heart incredibly attractive. They notice when a girl is confident but not arrogant, when she’s passionate about something, or when she shows up with emotional maturity. They also like a woman who makes them feel safe, seen, and understood without trying too hard.
2. What attracts a man to a woman the most?
What attracts a man to a woman the most might be physical at first, but what keeps a man drawn to a woman is who she is beyond the surface. What will keep him attracted are her energy, how she carries herself, her self-respect, and her warmth. Men are also often pulled in by a woman who is confident, emotionally intelligent, supportive, and fun to be around.
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