I know you want to get married; I do too.
So, I understand the struggle and pressure – especially when you are in a certain age bracket.
But one thing I always ask myself is: do you want to have a wholesome and healthy life or do you want to marry just because?
Now, I understand that the decision might not seem grave now in comparison to the joy of being in love and having your day.
But look at your life 20 years from now and decide which would be better: a healthy life or one of sorrow.
I bet you’ll pick the former.
However, it’s not enough to just wish; you must make some hard decisions if you want the life you want. One of them is making sure to be a wise woman who will never marry a man with these traits.
Let’s take a look at those traits.
A Wise Woman Will Never Marry a Man With These Traits
1. Controlling
One man wise women will never marry is one who is controlling.
You know those ones – men who always want things their way because they are men and they believe their every decision should be final.
Those men who expect you to do every and only what they approve of — yeah, those are the ones I am talking about.
The man might even feel like he is doing it out of love but a man who monitors your every move, and makes decisions for you isn’t a partner — he’s a dictator.
I know some women find it cute when it seems like he wants to be involved in every area of your life, but that’s a recipe for disaster.
Love should feel freeing, not suffocating. If he constantly tells you what to wear, where to go, or who to talk to, run.
A wise woman knows that a healthy relationship is built on trust and mutual respect, not control and dominance.
2. Possessiveness
I watch K-dramas a lot and I enjoy watching them.
And for many of them, especially the romcoms, we usually have a disturbed male lead falling for a simple girl who heals him.
But you see, one thing most of the male leads have in common is their possessiveness.
Now, it’s cute on screen – I have to admit; but then again, I am not always logical, so you probably wouldn’t agree with me.
However, even I know that a possessive man is cute only on TV. Outside of it, being with one is basically courting death.
Yes, a man should value you and maybe even be protective – be afraid to lose you and show it.
However, when he starts acting like he owns you, that’s a red flag.
Also Read: Red Flags to Watch Out for in a Relationship
A possessive man sees you as his property, not his partner.
He doesn’t just want love—he wants total control over your time, relationships, and choices. He and the controlling man are twins because they work hand in hand; a controlling man is possessive, and a possessive man is controlling.
As a wise woman, you need to choose a man who supports your independence, not one who cages you under the disguise of love.
3. Jealousy
There are two sides to jealousy in relationships. The first is motivated by possessiveness and the second hates your progress – both of them are traits wise women don’t joke around it.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves and pick them one after the other.
For the first one, there is always a debate about when jealousy becomes dangerous in a relationship. If you ask me, jealousy in this context is unnecessary because it does nothing to protect your relationship at the end of the day.
However, I understand that others may have a different perspective. So, a little jealousy is normal because it makes your partner feel invaluable.
We all enjoy it when the person we love doesn’t want to lose us and shows a little jealousy.
However, you are crossing the danger zone when a man is suspicious of your every move.
If he constantly questions your whereabouts, accuses you of things you haven’t done, or hates when you talk to any other men, that’s not love—it’s insecurity.
You should wisely stay away from such a man and not consider marrying him.
Also Read: Warning Signs He Is Not the One You Should Marry
A wise woman wants a man who trusts her, not one who sees every interaction as a threat to his fragile ego.
On the other end, we have men who are jealous of their woman’s success. Some of them are naturally jealous people while others don’t believe their woman should do better than them.
But it really doesn’t matter whichever category they fall into; they are both men wise women will never marry.
I want to believe you have dreams – outside of being a wife or mother. Being with such a man will stifle your growth and keep you under. There is no way you will live a fulfilled and wholesome life married to such a man.
And we have already agreed we want joyful lives; therefore, men like this must be avoided.
4. Philandering
This goes without saying, so I won’t dwell too much on it. If your man can’t stay faithful while dating you, don’t expect him to change after marriage.
A serial cheater lacks discipline and respect, and no amount of love will “fix” him; marriage definitely won’t.
Don’t be deceived that someone like this will magically learn self-control in marriage. Unfortunately, the wedding ring or vows are not discipline-coded. A man who doesn’t have it as a single won’t have it as a married man.
Save yourself the trouble and stay away.
You deserve a man who values commitment, not one who collects women like trophies.
5. Attaches His Self-Worth to Money
This might not seem like an issue, but it is a big one.
This is because a man who believes his value is tied to his bank account will struggle in a relationship. He may become arrogant when he has money or insecure when he doesn’t.
Either way, his mood, self-esteem, and even his love for you will rise and fall with his finances. That’s a problem you can do without.
You don’t want to be with a man whose emotions are so fickle and unpredictable. You need a real man who knows he is worth more than just cash.
Of course, this doesn’t mean he is lazy or unambitious; he just doesn’t tie his worth to it.
6. Disrespectful to Women
I remember talking to a guy who told me I was one of the few women he respected, and he expected me to jump for you.
I replied that I wanted him to respect women, period! If not, there are times when you won’t respect me if I do something you don’t agree with.
So, wise women watch how a man treats his mother, sisters, female colleagues and women in general — it’s a preview of how he’ll treat you.
A man who constantly talks down on women, dismisses their opinions, or makes degrading jokes is not husband material.
If he doesn’t respect women in general, he won’t suddenly start respecting you just because you’re his wife.
A wise woman knows better than to settle for that.
7. Lacks Accountability
If he always blames others for his mistakes, he’s not ready for a real relationship, let alone marriage.
A man who never takes responsibility will turn every argument into your fault and make excuses for his bad behaviour.
Marriage requires emotional maturity, and if he can’t own up to his actions, he’ll make life miserable for you.
You need someone who can recognise his errors, apologise and make adjustments.
Wise women also don’t marry men who don’t have an authority figure over them or someone they listen to. If you are with a man who runs solo and has no one in his life he respects and “fears”, marrying him would be a wrong idea.
Your man should have someone in his life who can call him to order – could be his parents, a friend, his religious leader,a mentor and so on.
8. Lacks Ambition; Too Ambitious
A man with no drive will drag you down, and a man who is obsessed with success will neglect you – both of them are no-go areas.
If he has no goals, you’ll have to carry all the weight of the marriage, and a good marriage should be a partnership.
It takes two to tango; no one person can do marriage alone.
On the other hand, if he’s too ambitious, he might prioritize money and status over love and family.
This is something that might not look troubling at the beginning, but it’s a dangerous situation to be in, years into the marriage.
The best thing is to seek a balance — a man with vision but also time for the people he loves.
9. Dishonours Domestic Chores
If he sees housework as “a woman’s job,” that’s a problem.
Again, marriage is a partnership, and no woman should feel like a maid in her own home.
A man who refuses to help with chores or sees it as beneath him lacks basic respect and doesn’t deserve your time.
You should only entertain men who are ready to be teammates, not an extra burden.
10. Abusive
Any form of abuse — physical, emotional, or verbal — is a hard NO.
Love should never leave you bruised, broken, or questioning your worth.
If he insults you, manipulates you, or lays a hand on you, walk away – no ifs or buts.
You must understand that no amount of love, patience, or understanding can fix an abusive man. If he doesn’t decide and commit to change, he won’t
So, don’t bother yourself trying to serve as his coach. You deserve peace and safety, and that’s what you should look out for in a relationship.
Also Read: 10 Sure Ways to Know a Guy Is Just Stringing You Along
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