In an ideal world, when you are in a relationship, it’ll be because your partner loves you and is crazy about you.

Unfortunately, we don’t live in an ideal world. Therefore, wanting to know if you are just convenient to him is a valid concern.

When we love someone, we want to know they feel the same way. But what happens when we see signs that scream that all’s not well? The wise thing to do is to investigate why we feel the way.

So if you’re here to discover the signs he’s just passing time with you until someone better comes along, you’re in the right place.

In this article, I will look at the warning signs he’s not in love with you, you’re just convenient.


11 Signs You Are Just Convenient to Him

1. You Are Not a Priority

One of the obvious ways to know someone loves you is when they consider you a priority. They can cancel an activity at the last minute because you need them, they spend time with you and involve you in everything they do.

Now, of course, cancelling something last minute will not happen every time. And if you love them too, you wouldn’t want that.

But for instance, hanging out with the guys can sometimes take a back seat because you need him to drive you to a doctor’s appointment. Most times, he’d likely offer.

However, if you never have moments like that where he shows you how important you are to him, it’s very likely he’s only with you because you are convenient.

2. You Only Meet On His Terms

I mentioned above that when someone loves you, they want to spend time with you. A guy that only sees you when it is convenient already shows you are just convenient to him.

Willingness to sacrifice for your lover is part of loving. If that’s not forthcoming, you are likely just an option.

In addition, this also plays out when he only wants you on his terms. For instance, he chooses the restaurant because it’s close to his office, or he never makes time for you except when he’s free and bored. Those are not the attitudes of a man in love.

3. He’s Only Around When He Needs Something

A man who considers you only a convenience will mostly only be available to you when they need something.

When you love someone, you want to talk to them and have even the most mundane discussions.

But if the only time he remembers your number is on his phone is when he needs something, you don’t need anyone to tell you he is only using you.

4. You Feel Unappreciated

In this kind of relationship, you will likely be doing the most and making all the efforts. But the problem is they will still go unappreciated.

Do you know why? Because he’s not getting the effort from the person he really wants. So, he’s not going to see or acknowledge it.

In fact, he might be uncomfortable with it and find you annoying instead of thoughtful.

5. You’ve Never Met His Friends or Family

Trust me, if a man loves you, he’ll want to show you off to his friends at the very least.

Yes, significant others are not introduced in some cultures and families until after the proposal or when the wedding is in view.

So, in that instance, he may not immediately introduce you to his family. But something is wrong if you’ve never met or there’s no talk about meeting any of his friends.

It is likely one of the signs he’s just keeping you around. He knows you won’t be around for long anyway, so there’s no point giving you access to his life.

Now, of course, meeting friends does not always mean he loves you; men cover up for each other all the time. But not meeting them when there is no reasonable reason why you can’t is definitely a huge red flag.

Also ReadRed Flags to Watch Out for in a Relationship

Warning Signs You Are Just Convenient to Him

6. He Never Makes an Effort

Like I said, in a relationship where you are just convenient to him, he’s unlikely to try to spend time with you or invest in the relationship.

More often than not, you will have to do everything to keep the relationship because he’s not as invested as you are.

7. He Doesn’t Show Affection

If you’re constantly asking, “Is it love or just convenience?” chances are something is wrong. I always say you won’t be in doubt when someone loves you.

Of course, some people may love you and be terrible at expressing it. But nobody lacks action when they are in love. And by actions, I don’t necessarily mean romantic gestures, knowing that might be a result of one’s background.

Some of the most manipulative guys are also the most romantic. They know to get you coffee and flowers every day because they know it makes you shed tears of joy, but they still don’t love you.

So, loving someone is more than that. How often does he make sacrifices for you? How committed is he to making you happy? Does he listen to you and know the little details? Trust me, it’s often in the small things, not the grand gestures.

If all these are missing, you need to reevaluate things.

Also ReadSigns You Are Dating a Narcissist

8. He Shows No Interest in Your Life

A man who loves you wants to know everything about you. He wants to know your likes, dislikes, interests, goals and values. He wants to know what makes you tick.

If he’s showing no interest in your life, it’s because he’s not interested.

9. He Never Discusses the Future With You

One of the answers to the question, “How do you know if you are just an option to him?” is if a man never talks about the future with you.

He never discusses it with you because he doesn’t see you in his future; he is just passing time with you until something better comes along.  

Also ReadSure Signs He Sees a Future with You

10. More Words, Less Actions

Some men see you as a convenience and don’t care much whether you leave or not, but some actually need you to stay until they don’t need you anymore.

The latter will probably shower you with words to keep you going, just enough to make you feel you are overthinking things.

But they don’t have enough love for you to back their words with actions. They may even try to do better for a day or two, but they’d soon return to their default setting because the love to fuel the actions is missing.

No matter how sweet words are, they are worth nothing if they are not backed with actions. Don’t fall for it.

A man who loves you will back his actions with words. He may not even have the right words, but he’ll have the right actions.

11. The Relationship Is Stuck

One of the signs you are just convenient to him is that the relationship will be in limbo. He will make no effort to move the relationship forward.

Sometimes, you might be unsure if you are in a relationship because of how uncertain things will be. Being in a situation like this is a clear sign you are just convenient to him.


If you came here asking, “How do you know if someone is with you for convenience?” I have succeeded in answering your question.

Let me say here that I am a big believer in having conversations before making big decisions. So, you can decide to have a conversation before walking away.

Go into the discussion with an open mind but with high discernment. Listen to what he’s saying, but also what he’s implying and ask him follow-up questions to get clarity. 

This should help you make you make a more informed decision. It will also help you cover all grounds, so you won’t feel the need to seek closure after leaving. 

In the end, listen to your guts; it’s hardly ever wrong.