Now, don’t we all wish that every man knows what he wants and is completely honest with the woman in his life about it? 

I know I do.

But we all know that it doesn’t always work like that. Sometimes, a man will keep you around even if he doesn’t want a relationship. 

And really, nobody should have to go through the mental gymnastics required to know if a guy is not serious about you. 

So, if you are reading this, you are probably already asking the question, “Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship with me?

Or you are asking for the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you anymore because you can see it. 

Whatever your question is, if you are in that situation where you are uncertain whether he does or doesn’t want a relationship with you, you have come to the right place. 

In this post, I will be sharing with you 10 signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. Follow along.

  

1. He Doesn’t Care to Spend Time with You 

He may indeed be busy.  

However, people make time for things they love doing or for people they love. People know how to factor things or others that will give them joy and happiness into their busy schedules.  

So, someone who truly loves you and is committed to seeing your relationship grow will make out time to spend with you, no matter how busy their schedule is.  

In fact, long distance is not even a barrier for two people who genuinely love each other.  

Remember that we are not only talking about spending time physically, we are also talking about communication.  

If a man loves you, he will want to spend time with you and if he cannot, he will make sure the line of communication is unbroken. 

If your man doesn’t care to do that, if he doesn’t bother at all, girl, that might just be a sign.  

 

ALSO READ: BENEFITS OF LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS

 

2. He Doesn’t Make Long-Term Plans 

It is only natural to not only let your partner into your long-term plans but to also include them.  

There is really no way you will have conversations with someone you are serious about that plans concerning career, personal life goals and so on will not come up.  

And if you are looking into settling down with the said person, that’s also a conversation that’s likely to come up once in a while. 

However, like I already said, even if you have both planned not to get married, it doesn’t change the fact that you have other plans that will feature you both.  

So, if he never discusses future plans with you or you never see where you factor in his plans, there is a big issue. 

He should be telling you about his plans and you should feature in them.  

 

3. He Keeps You Hidden 

People love to show off anything/anybody they consider precious to them.  

It doesn’t matter whether they are introverts or extroverts, they’ll still show off whoever they love and cherish.  

Now, don’t get me wrong; your man may be private but as far as his immediate family and few close friends are concerned, you’ll not be a secret to them.  

Therefore, if your man hasn’t told his family and friends about you at all, reacts negatively or comes up with excuses when the discussion comes up, it is a sign that he has no interest in committing to you. 

If he thinks you are going to be in his life for the long haul, he won’t keep you hidden from his loved ones.  

Of course, you have to factor in how long you have been in the relationship. You may not need to worry about a month – 3 months relationship. 

But once it’s getting to 6 months to a year, even if his family hasn’t met you yet, his friends should have, especially if they are available to meet you.

Or they should have heard about you at the very least.  

 

4. He Loves Physical Intimacy but Avoids Emotional Intimacy 

There are different ways this can go.  

The man in question likely sees you as an arm-candy, enjoys time in bed with you or just uses you to scratch an itch. 

With a man like this, you will always question your position in his heart because he will be warm and cold. Warm when he needs you in his bed and cold when he is done. 

Such a man can even spend on you if he can afford it but it is not a test that he is emotionally available to you. 

If he wants a relationship with you, he will want to spend time with you just because. Also, he will ask you questions and bring up conversations to know and understand you. 

He will be interested in what makes you tick, your values, your goals and aspirations.

A man who wants a relationship with you will not just be there for the thrills. He will be there for the good, the bad and the ugly. 

He will be interested in everything that concerns you.  

 

ALSO READ: HOW TO IDENTIFY AN EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE PARTNER

 

5. He is Unreliable 

Just like I mentioned above, one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you is that he will be neither warm nor cold. 

He will be here today and there tomorrow. He will be deliberately always unreliable.  

Or maybe not deliberately as he doesn’t even have to think about being unreliable; it’s just a testament to how he feels about you. 

He doesn’t see the need to, so he won’t be there for you when you need him.  

If a guy loves you, best believe that he will be reliable and dependable.   

 

Signs he doesn't want a relationship with you

 

6. He Doesn’t Mind You Being with Other Guys 

Men (and I dare to say, people generally) are naturally protective of what/who is theirs. Some more than others but on the average, we all can be territorial, especially when we feel someone else is “trespassing.”  

Therefore, when a man is unhealthily comfortable with his woman spending too much time with another guy or other guys, then there is something wrong somewhere. 

It is very likely that he doesn’t care because he doesn’t want to be with her. 

 

7. He Has Told You 

There are many times when women choose to close their ears to what the man in their life is saying because that’s not what they want to hear. 

One of the huge signs that he doesn’t want a relationship with you is if he tells you. When people tell you who they are, believe them. 

Don’t try to rationalise what he’s saying beyond what he’s saying.  

Now, he may or may not come direct. But you should listen nonetheless.

If you want to be 100% sure, then ask him directly if this is what you think he is saying.  

While he might still not be direct ‘cause he might not want to hurt you, if he doesn’t want you, he wouldn’t tell you he does except he is getting something from you he doesn’t want to let go of. 

And even at that, some men in that situation will still never directly say they want you so they can have something to fall back on when the matter arises.  

So, you need to listen to both spoken and unspoken words. And definitely, listen to their actions too.  

 

8. He Enjoys the Single Life 

Some men are not interested in a relationship or rather, they are not interested in the responsibility that comes with being in a relationship.  

They would rather go for friendship with benefits than a committed relationship. They just want the benefits of a relationship without the relationship. 

So, if a man loves the single life, then he definitely doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you.   

 

9. He is Heartbroken 

He also might still be nursing a broken heart. If he’s not yet over his ex, chances are that he is definitely not ready to be committed to a relationship with you.  

Also, if he has been hurt in his past relationships, he may have scars that are yet to heal. 

And such a man needs to heal before considering another relationship. So, you should do yourself a world of good by staying away. 

 

10. He is Scared of Commitment 

Commitment is naturally scary; or at least, I think it is.  

The fact that you have to factor another person into your life for a very long time can sound scary. 

But the Good Book says, there is no fear in love but perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). That means, love is big enough to destroy fear. 

If he is still afraid of commitment, then the love is not perfect. And while it doesn’t make him a bad person, it makes him a bad person for you. 

You should understand that he doesn’t want a relationship with you and move on. 

He may not even know that he shouldn’t be in a relationship but fear of commitment is a sign that a relationship shouldn’t be in the works yet.

So, let him go.  

 

Conclusion 

Let me wrap up by saying it is possible that a guy doesn’t know what he wants and he may come back after losing you.  

While I won’t tell you to immediately say no or yes, I’d tell you to have an in-depth conversation, asking him very direct questions to clear all misunderstandings before making your decision.