Many women have probably been in a relationship with a cheat once in their lifetime. That’s not out of this world when you consider the statistics of men likely to cheat on their significant other.
However, if you start noticing a pattern of dating cheaters, it calls for introspection. You need to know the reasons you attract unfaithful men. And I will address that in this article.
7 Major Reasons You Attract Unfaithful Men
A pattern of dating only cheaters should be investigated. While some people have dated cheaters, they have also been in relationships with faithful men.
If this is not your story, it’s time to discover why yours is peculiar. Check out the following reasons why you attract only womanisers.
1. That’s All You Know
We often stick to what’s familiar, no matter how toxic. It is not uncommon to find a past victim of an abusive relationship seek out an abusive partner in their next relationship.
This doesn’t just play out with abuse, it does with cheating as well. Due to traumatic experiences in the past, many people find it difficult to break free from that cycle. Instead, they repeat it over and over again.
For instance, if your first love was a cheater or one of your parents was unfaithful, it may be all you are familiar with. Unconsciously, you will often seek the same kind of person.
In fact, when you meet a faithful partner, you are likely to sabotage the relationship because that level of sanity will seem uncomfortable for you.
If you are in this situation, you need to heal before entering the next relationship. Give yourself time, spending it with God, in therapy, and with loved ones.
And when you feel you’ve finally broken free from the cycle, you can give love a chance again.
2. You Are Desperate for a Relationship
Cheaters sniff out desperate women. They recognise when you want a relationship so much that it doesn’t matter to you what kind of person he is.
While love is sweet, and many of us hope to find that loving companionship, it’s not reason enough to desperately seek one.
There’s a lot to enjoy about being single, one of which is having time to spend on things that matter to you and will improve you.
A relationship can be a distraction. This is not to say you shouldn’t desire one if you want a relationship, but that you should use your single state judiciously.
You shouldn’t spend that time wishing and complaining about lacking a relationship, you should use it to know God more, learn courses and hone skills that will make you progress in your career, travel, volunteer, and love your family and friends.
At the right time, while keeping busy, your perfect man will appear.
Also Read: Telltale Signs You Are Desperate for a Relationship
3. You Are Afraid of Being Alone
Quite similar to the above is the fear of being alone. Unfortunately, some people relate happiness only to being in a relationship.
In fact, if you can relate to this thought, that’s more reason to avoid relationships until you have a healthier relationship with happiness.
Every individual needs to find happiness within themselves that has nothing to do with attachment to another.
Apart from the fact that it’s unhealthy to base your sole source of happiness on another human being, nobody can satisfy that void except God.
So, make sure to fill that void with Him, find what makes you happy as an individual, and then you can meet another wholesome person who can complement your happiness.
If not, you will settle for anybody even when the red flag is clearly obvious or fall for a narcissist who knows how to feed you with false happiness until they consume you.
Being happy alone makes it easy to sift out the chaff from the wheat because you are not desperate to be with anybody. So, if it takes a while to find the wheat, you can take your time.
4. You Enjoy the Thrill of Bad Boys
One of the reasons why you attract unfaithful men could be that you like bad boys.
I completely understand the thrill of being with a bad boy; they are interesting and exciting. However, they are also not worth the effort in the long run.
Bad boys will give you spontaneity, adventure, and a wild rush, but they will also bring heartache, pain, and trauma.
Instead of wasting your time with a bad boy, find a teachable good guy. Not one who prides himself on being a good guy; those are probably worse than the supposed bad boys.
Find one that is a good guy just because. He is not trying to impress you with it, and he doesn’t even seem to notice he is, he just is.
Then, you can teach him to dress better, be more adventurous, romantic, and the whole nine yards. The idea is to find one who isn’t stuck up but is flexible and teachable.
Making a good guy more exciting is easier than keeping a bad guy from breaking your heart.
Also Read: THE GOOD BOY SYNDROME
5. You Have a Saviour Complex
If none of the reasons above apply to you, and you still wonder, “Why do I attract cheaters?” You could enjoy fixing strays.
The problem is that while stray animals may be tameable, human beings are more complicated. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s impossible for people to change, I am saying you are not the Holy Spirit, so it’s not your job to change people.
Therefore, starting a relationship with the intention of changing someone is the worst idea ever. If you find someone with red flags and deal breakers, they are better left alone.
Let me balance it. Please bear in mind that nobody is perfect, so this is not an endorsement of any unrealistic standards you might have about seeking it all in a man.
This is simply letting you know that you should flee if you see signs that someone is a bad idea altogether, and not because they don’t have beards while you like beards.
Don’t try to change anyone; it’s a wild goose chase, and you’ll ultimately hurt yourself.
And if it’s a traumatic response, seek a good therapist to break free from it before starting a relationship.
6. You Have Low Self Esteem
Another reason why you attract the wrong guys is because you have low self-esteem and don’t believe you deserve a good man.
Please, don’t believe that lie wherever you may have been fed that. It doesn’t even matter if it came from your parents; God doesn’t see you like that, and you shouldn’t.
As far as you are not a cheat yourself, you don’t deserve a cheat. So, get rid of that thinking and stay away from men who want to destroy your soul.
If you need therapy to deal with the issue, please get one. This will help you form a better opinion of yourself.
Also Read: How to Stop Attracting the Wrong Guys
7. You Manifest It
You may be saying you don’t want to be with a cheat when that’s all you manifest. We must be careful what we feed the atmosphere because the law of attraction is real.
Speak positively about the kind of man you want, believe it, and you will get him. Don’t join those chatting about how all men cheat when you want one that doesn’t.
Men, themselves, might tell you that but never believe it. There are men who don’t cheat and men who will never cheat.
If you are a faithful woman, start believing you will find one of those good men.
Conclusion
Cheating can be gut-wrenching. Therefore, faithful people don’t deserve to be with a cheater repeatedly. But as established, a pattern of cheating partners requires more introspection; look through the list and see the one that best fits your situation.
I have also included what to do to stop attracting cheaters. So, if you are thinking, “What do I do to stop attracting unfaithful men? ” Your answer is also there.
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