If you are a good person with a good heart, there is a chance that you may be hesitant to reject an equally good person because you don’t want to hurt them.

It is always easier to reject a bad person, but a good person is not easy to say no to because you sympathise with the feeling of being rejected.

So, you may be dating or are in a situationship with someone that doesn’t want to be with you but is afraid of hurting you.

If you are already wondering if you are in this situation or not, chances are you are. Because, many times, our instincts pick up on these things. But we live in denial because we love them.

No judgement. Anybody who has been in love can relate to how irrational it makes even the best of us.

So, how do you find out for certain if you are in this situation or if you are just being paranoid? That is what this post is for. It will show you glaring signs he wants to reject you but doesn’t want to hurt you.


7 Signs He Wants to Reject You But Doesn’t Want to Hurt You

  1. He Doesn’t Respond To Calls Or Messages

When we are in love – no matter our communication styles – we will respond to calls and messages from our lover.

Now, let me say clearly that if you are constantly texting or calling and they don’t respond, that may be your fault.

Except they have nothing to do, no adult has the time to text and call constantly. So, this is not a stamp for not giving your partner breathing space.

But reasonably, we all make time to communicate when we are in love. While we may use our preferred style, we would reach out and respond when they do.

For instance, I prefer chatting to calls, and when I want to contact my lover, I’d most likely text. But that doesn’t mean I won’t respond when they call – if they prefer calls.

You see how it works? Therefore, if your lover is not responding to you or reaching out at all, it is a huge cause for concern.

Also Read: How to Communicate Effectively in a Relationship


  1. He Doesn’t Make Time For You

In the same vein, we want to be around and spend time with the people we love.

Again, reasonably, because people have legitimate things to attend to. This is not addressing you if your issue is that you want a man that is available at your beck and call.

However, if you have a partner who doesn’t – reasonably – want to spend time with you or make out time to be in your presence, he is most likely not interested.


  1. You Feel Detachment

The truth is that many times, we feel these things, but we are constantly in a state of denial. We love them and don’t want to believe they don’t feel the same way about us.

If you feel some sort of detachment, it doesn’t always mean they are no longer interested in you. But it does mean there is an issue.

The issue may be removed from the relationship, but there is definitely an issue – with you or them because it could also be your insecurity in question.

Either way, you should have a polite and honest conversation about it. Also, the conversation would be more productive if you communicated how you felt rather than accusing them of how they made you feel.

From the conversation, watch out for their words and body language; you should be able to get your answer.


signs he wants to reject you but doesn't want to hurt you


  1. He Doesn’t Acknowledge You

If there is one thing to know about most men, it is that they are predatory; they like to mark their territory.

Now, all men are not like that, so you may need to observe who you are working with. But generally, even women mark territory when they are in love.

They want to acknowledge their partner and be acknowledged by them.

Notice that I didn’t say on social media because there is a social media craze these days that make people question their relationship if it is not on social media.

Don’t fall into that trap; you may be dating a man who doesn’t care for social media. If he is not social media savvy, chances are he won’t post you there.

And even if he is, some people use social media strictly for business and some to banter while keeping their private life away. So, you need to figure out the kind of man he is.

However, having said all that, while he may not be on social media, he will address you as his girl when speaking to loved ones. He will include you in major discussions, and you will hear more of ‘we’ than ‘I’.

Also Read: The Differences Between a Private and Secret Relationship


  1. Your Relationship Is Undefined

This is quite similar to the point above. If you don’t know your place and he is making no moves to establish your place in his life, it is one of the major signs he wants to reject you.

He is probably comfortable being just friends or enjoying the benefits of the situationship without committing to a relationship.


  1. He Tells You

Sometimes, they even say it, but we don’t hear them because we don’t want to. If a man tells you he is not ready for a relationship or commitment, believe him.

Don’t make excuses. That is exactly what he means; he is not ready. Or you are not the one to make him ready.

I know it sounds harsh. But to save yourself, you need to tell yourself hard truths.

Yes, he might be lying about not being ready. However, the fact that he feels the need to tell you shows he doesn’t want you. And instead of telling you that blatantly, he chose the easier route of putting the blame on himself.


  1. He Doesn’t Introduce You to Family and Friends

If he doesn’t introduce you to family and friends and is not interested in meeting yours, he is likely not interested in you.

It is that simple. When we love someone, we want to involve them in every aspect of our lives and want them involved in ours. He is probably not involving you because he doesn’t want to involve you.



Many men – especially good men – are not great at outrightly rejecting women. Although I believe this is very wrong, it is an issue they seem to have.

They rather show you through their actions how they feel about you. So, you might have to figure things out for yourself.

Trust me, when a man loves you and wants to be with you, you won’t be in doubt; it will be clear.

However, I am not an advocate for making decisions without honest conversations. Human beings are very complex; you may see these signs that he wants to reject you but doesn’t want to hurt you, and they may not mean what you think they do.

So, these signs should spark a conversation, not rash decisions. Talk to him and then make your decision based on his reply.

What do you think? Let me know in the comment section.