It is possible you have heard it said many times that you can never completely know someone.

I pride myself to be one of the most self-aware people I have met and even I do things that do sometimes shock me.

I started by saying all these because some people might be wondering about the topic. They might be saying, “How can someone be your spouse if you don’t know them?”

I do agree that there is a level of knowledge you should have about your spouse before you even think of getting married to them.

However, there is so much more you will need to learn about them and definitely still learn about them in marriage.

This is the person you want to share your life with forever, so I would assume that you would want to know everything there is to know about them. I know I do.

How can you achieve that? You can achieve it by taking the initiative to ask them deep questions that will get them to open up more to you.

What are the deep questions to ask your spouse if you want to know them better?



1. What is a childhood memory you have that you will never forget?

2. If you were not doing what you are doing now, what would you have been doing?

3. Would you prefer to be famous and rich or just silently rich and not famous?

4. What would you describe as the perfect gift?

5. How would you describe your perfect day?

6. What is your dream vacation?

7. If you could spend a day with someone famous, who would it be? Why?

8. If you could go back in time, what is that one thing you would change?

9. Name a fantasy that I can fulfil for you but you have never told me.

10. What part of schooling did you enjoy the most?

11. Who was your best teacher and why?

12. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where will you go?

13. What does friendship mean to you?

14. What is that one thing you regretted from your past relationships?

15. What is the biggest lesson you learnt from your past relationships?

deep questions to ask your spouse

16. What offence do you consider unforgivable?

17. What would you say in a letter to your younger self?

18. Tell me one thing I do that you utterly hate but have decided to let go.

19. What is your favourite thing about me?

20. What was your first impression of me?

21. What is your favourite memory of us?

22. What do you think makes our relationship work?

23. What would you want us to improve on?

24. What would you say is our biggest fight?

25. What is that one thing you are most grateful for in your life?

26. What is that one thing in your life you will not trade for anything?

27. What is your greatest fear in life?

28. What do you dislike most about yourself?

29. What would you say is your greatest accomplishment?

30. What is your greatest inspiration?

31. What is your best quote?

32. If you could be a superhero, what superpower would you like to have?

33. What was the one thing that convinced you to marry me?

34. What would you change about the way you were raised?

35. If you had a billion dollars, what would you do with it?

36. Would you be interested in knowing the future if you can?

37. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

38. Where do you see yourself living when you retire?

39. What legacy would you like to leave behind?

40. What is that one question you have always wanted to ask me but never asked?