It is possible you have heard it said many times that you can never completely know someone.
I pride myself to be one of the most self-aware people I have met and even I do things that do sometimes shock me.
I started by saying all these because some people might be wondering about the topic. They might be saying, “How can someone be your spouse if you don’t know them?”
I do agree that there is a level of knowledge you should have about your spouse before you even think of getting married to them.
However, there is so much more you will need to learn about them and definitely still learn about them in marriage.
This is the person you want to share your life with forever, so I would assume that you would want to know everything there is to know about them. I know I do.
How can you achieve that? You can achieve it by taking the initiative to ask them deep questions that will get them to open up more to you.
What are the deep questions to ask your spouse if you want to know them better?
40 DEEP QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR SPOUSE
1. What is a childhood memory you have that you will never forget?
2. If you were not doing what you are doing now, what would you have been doing?
3. Would you prefer to be famous and rich or just silently rich and not famous?
4. What would you describe as the perfect gift?
5. How would you describe your perfect day?
6. What is your dream vacation?
7. If you could spend a day with someone famous, who would it be? Why?
8. If you could go back in time, what is that one thing you would change?
9. Name a fantasy that I can fulfil for you but you have never told me.
10. What part of schooling did you enjoy the most?
11. Who was your best teacher and why?
12. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where will you go?
13. What does friendship mean to you?
14. What is that one thing you regretted from your past relationships?
15. What is the biggest lesson you learnt from your past relationships?
16. What offence do you consider unforgivable?
17. What would you say in a letter to your younger self?
18. Tell me one thing I do that you utterly hate but have decided to let go.
19. What is your favourite thing about me?
20. What was your first impression of me?
21. What is your favourite memory of us?
22. What do you think makes our relationship work?
23. What would you want us to improve on?
24. What would you say is our biggest fight?
25. What is that one thing you are most grateful for in your life?
26. What is that one thing in your life you will not trade for anything?
27. What is your greatest fear in life?
28. What do you dislike most about yourself?
29. What would you say is your greatest accomplishment?
30. What is your greatest inspiration?
31. What is your best quote?
32. If you could be a superhero, what superpower would you like to have?
33. What was the one thing that convinced you to marry me?
34. What would you change about the way you were raised?
35. If you had a billion dollars, what would you do with it?
36. Would you be interested in knowing the future if you can?
37. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
38. Where do you see yourself living when you retire?
39. What legacy would you like to leave behind?
40. What is that one question you have always wanted to ask me but never asked?
17/03/2024 at 1:46 PM
This list may have been helpful before getting married.
Now after we have married it seem like the questions may be to intrusive. She may think, why don’t I know about these things after all these years. Also, now I fear asking these questions because of the fall out of asking and the repercussions I believe I would have to live with.
Thanks
29/03/2024 at 12:36 PM
Hi, this seems like a more underlying issue than asking questions, because normally, it shouldn’t be an issue. However, you know your marriage more and should avoid asking the questions if you think it will cause a rift. I would say though that you should probably address the underlying issues so you can have an environment where honest conversations is allowed, including an intent to know your spouse better. Cheers.
22/12/2023 at 6:10 PM
This is a really good list. I have never even thought to ask some of these questions.
05/10/2023 at 5:58 PM
These are good questions that doesn’t only make someone closer to you, you will also answer and what greater bond can you create through that. And the questions should be asked at different times to generate deep talks.
Thanks to the author. I’ll be asking the questions when I find my person.
03/10/2023 at 2:53 PM
Some questions require a lot of courage to here the answers. You have to be ready for that.
03/10/2023 at 5:55 PM
Absolutely, some answers might be difficult to hear. However, we may need those answers to move forward, after all, the intent is to know our spouse better. Knowing includes knowing the good, the bad and ugly.
19/08/2023 at 11:10 AM
The problem is, even if I asked my husband these questions, he wouldn’t answer. He would brush it off as mere nonsense.
17/10/2023 at 4:43 AM
Then he doesn’t deserve you. You DESERVE to be heard, Queen
02/07/2023 at 11:35 PM
Everything here is perfect
05/07/2023 at 10:47 AM
Thank you.
02/07/2023 at 1:59 PM
These questions are quite useful and am gonna use it. Thanks for the inspiration
05/07/2023 at 10:47 AM
Thank you for reading. I hope you find them valuable when you use them.
22/08/2023 at 4:11 AM
The questions are so inspiring and can talk your life to another level thank you
23/08/2023 at 1:51 PM
Thank you. I am glad you found it useful.
01/07/2023 at 5:01 AM
Problem is my husband doesn’tcare enough about our marriage to take the time to have any of these conversations
05/07/2023 at 10:49 AM
I am so sorry to hear that. You may have to take the reins by bringing up the conversations then. And more importantly, I think you should tell him how you would like to have conversations with him because you want to build an even deeper connection with him.
09/10/2023 at 12:25 PM
I’m sorry you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to talk but what if you started by not asking him to? He can always listen. The beauty of this question list is it helps you learn about yourself too. As you contemplate your replies to these questions, share them! It takes time to develop an answer or a thought about some of these questions. That can be intimidating for someone who doesn’t usually converse. Be the example. Start with you and don’t expect him to participate. It could take him a day or to to process his thoughts about YOU and your thoughts and then it could take him even more time to muster up the courage to start a conversation. At least he knows you a little better and now you have him thinking… about you.
29/06/2023 at 10:51 PM
I quite like the questions and will definitely make a good use of them.
30/06/2023 at 1:27 PM
I am glad you find them valuable.
11/12/2022 at 8:06 PM
What a bunch of stupid insignificant questions… just how exactly will or can they possible strengthen the bond between two people
13/01/2023 at 2:18 PM
I understand that you feel that way because they are a list of questions. The idea is that a particular question will spur conversation which will, therefore, make you know your partner better. I’d suggest you try some of them and see how they work. Cheers.
05/08/2023 at 1:22 PM
I think it is proper to stay quiet than condemn someone’s effort. A solution you have never thought of. It might not be useful for you, but will be for others. Esp people who know how ro truely communicate.
Imagine a spouse having thier quiet moment and one of rhe question is asked… my dear, story telling that would bring about rush of emotions has started …just like that. It’s beautiful.
19/08/2023 at 4:13 AM
I think you are so correct. We have so much to learn about the men in our lives. For us to be happy and to be with a happy man.
Thank you Arthur I can’t wait to try these questions. They will definitely bring us closer because of the amount of information and emotions which will come out. And we can better understand how the man was raised and know why he is so.
23/08/2023 at 8:03 AM
Im sorry that your marriage wound up like that . Im sorry mine is the same way. How in hell did we end up with these lemons. ? Im going to try a few of the easier questions see how that goes.
10/11/2023 at 12:15 PM
They help you to know and understand the person you’re with and know the right approach and if they’re for you. Sometimes we’re blinded by things that we think we love but when we get to know the person we realise it is not what we were hoping for from the start hence these questions create conversations that allow you to know if you really want to be with this person or not
11/10/2022 at 1:17 AM
I’m definitely gonna use these. They are the questions I had wanted to ask, just didn’t kno how. They are perfectly scripted. Thanks
23/10/2022 at 1:53 PM
You are welcome. Thank you for reading.
29/05/2022 at 7:00 AM
I know alot of the answers but there are some I would still like to know. Thank you for the inspiration to ask
29/05/2022 at 9:17 AM
Glad I could help.
11/10/2021 at 4:13 PM
It is awesome and mind blowing…
13/10/2021 at 9:22 AM
Thank you for reading. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
03/09/2021 at 3:15 PM
I found this so much useful to me.
03/09/2021 at 3:31 PM
Thank you for reading. I’m glad you found it valuable.