In my journey as a Christian, I have done many things that were not good for me. I knew they weren’t but it gave me fleeting pleasure.

Unlike Moses, I, sometimes, chose the fleeting pleasure of Egypt than to suffer with the people of Israel so I could enjoy the eternal rest with them.

You see, the problem with making that choice is that it brings destruction just like the Egyptians that perished in the Red Sea. Moses probably would have perished with them if he had chosen Egypt.

However, unlike the time of Moses, it is presently a spiritual poisoning of the Spirit.

I came across these words recently – I cannot remember where – but it stood out for me and I wrote it in my journal immediately.

Would you deliberately swallow stone or bone or any object you know will harm you? Then why do you insist on swallowing things that hurt your spirit man and make you miserable?

The words really resonated with me when I read it. It spoke to me, I don’t know if it does to you. As a Christian, ever since I opened my heart to Jesus, I am always very miserable anytime I am far from God.

It is something I have noticed.

I want the “good” things of life just as much as everybody else and so, I have forsaken the path of light in order to get them. But I always end up miserable.

I have come to realise that there is a part of man that cannot be complete without God; a part of man that is constantly longing for connection with God, a part that can never be satisfied with any other thing or person but God. I believe God made it so – He is our creator after all.

Due to ignorance, we constantly search for it in relationships, money, cars, sex, fame, position and what have you. But we never find it, so we keep searching and wondering what is missing.

Many on us end up spending our time on earth in a wild goose chase looking for what is missing.

Well, God is missing; that’s the simple answer.

Trust me, half of the times I was away from God, I was usually doing or with a particular thing I believe will make me happy.

It isn’t coincidental that the most joyful times of my life are when I am with God, even when I am broke and hungry.

There is just an unexplainable joy that fills my heart anytime I am in my Father’s will.

This reminds me of the prodigal son who left the abundance of his father’s house for a tiny percentage outside the secret place of the Almighty.

I know these things; I have lived it. Then why do I always still deliberately swallow stone?

It is like Paul said, the message version puts it simply; “What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise.” Romans 7:15 MSG

“I decide to do good but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway.” Romans 7:19 MSG

“It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.” Romans 7:21-23 MSG

If we read the chapter from 15 downward, we will see Pail outlining our helplessness, our desire to get it right despite our inability to.

We simply can’t. That’s why Jesus came; to help us with this; to give us strength and grace to live right.

And many times, even after we have accepted Jesus, we need to remind ourselves that, “Without Me, you can do nothing.” John 15:5b NKJV

“Is there no one who can do anything for me? … The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.” Romans 7:24b – 25 MSG

Anytime I am too weak to get it right, anytime I feel myself sinking, what I should do is look up to Jesus, cry to Him for help, rely on His help and not try to help myself.

How can I deliberately stop swallowing stone? By being with Jesus

How can I be with Jesus? By spending time with Him through His word and praying (talking to Him) every time, any time, all times, without ceasing (1 Thess 5:17)


when I keep swallowing stone