I have heard too many times about how love is all that matters in a relationship and you can marry an unbeliever as a Christian.

I wonder where that fallacy came from. The worse is when the proponent of this rhetoric try to link their belief to the Bible.

Wherever they saw that the Bible supports a belief drawn from their personal interests amazes me.

What the Bible says about it is clear, VERY CLEAR.

2 Corinthians 6:14-17; “Do not be unequally yoked together with UNBELIEVERS. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an UNBELIEVER? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God … therefore, come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord.”

1 Corinthians 7:39b; “She is at liberty to marry whom she will, ONLY IN THE LORD.”

There is no confusion. It is unacceptable.

First, marriage is an institution instituted by God and if you claim to know Him then you have to do it His way. Marriage is a replica of the relationship between Christ and His church.

The intent of God is to give us a representation of what we enjoy with Him in His kingdom.

That is why it is impossible for you to achieve it with an unbeliever.

An unbeliever is not capable of coming into the covenant of marriage that God has with His son and His daughter.

How is it even possible to have that kind of “body, soul and spirit” joining with someone who doesn’t show allegiance to your God?

Now, I am not going to try to glaze over the words to sound politically correct. I am going to be saying it as it is.

I have a strong conviction that only three things can make you even consider marriage with an unbeliever.

One is that you are not even a believer in the first place and you just think you are a Christian because your name is Abraham, the friend of God or David, the man after God’s heart or even Jesus.

Or you think the fact that you were born into a church setting and you go to church, makes you a Christian?

Well, newsflash; Judas was among the companions of Jesus but was a son of perdition.

Your being in church and bearing a “Christian” name is not what makes you a Christian but actually believing in the Lord and Him being your Lord and Saviour.

The second reason is that you are completely not serious about your journey with Christ, which will make us doubt your faith in the first place.

But let us say for argument sake that you are a Christian.

You must be a very nonchalant one for you to consider marriage with an unbeliever.

I don’t understand it. How can you stand being with someone who doesn’t understand your language?

Who do you tell things the Holy Spirit tells you?

Who do you tell when you get a revelation from the Bible?

Who do you share your experiences with God with?

Who do you raise Christ-like children with?

Who prays for and with you and God can use to minister to you?

I remember one story about Joyce Meyer that resonates always in my mind.

She said that she listened to a message one day from another preacher and because she was feeling fly about her preaching, she criticised the person’s preaching.

God decided to chastise her and she lost fire for her own preaching. If you are a child of God, you will feel these things.

She knew something was wrong and mentioned it to her husband.

And God told him why, which he relayed to her. When I heard the story, what came to mind was, imagine if he was an unbeliever?

I cannot overemphasise it. You are not serious.

The third reason is that you are wallowing in ignorance.

Do you know that whoever you marry is going to be the greatest influence in your life?

Has it occurred to you that it is easier to pull someone down than to pull them up?

Do you know that they have a higher chance of drawing you away from God than you do of pulling them towards God?

If you marry an unbeliever, be ready to fight an unnecessary battle to keep your faith.

Faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the word of God; so also lack of faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the word of your unbelieving partner.

Now, I hear a lot of people talk about what if God wants you to witness to them.

This argument makes me laugh.

So He told you you have to marry the person before you can witness to the person? Has it occurred to you that you would then have to marry the world if you want to follow that principle?

I mean, think about it; we have been called to go into the world. If you have to marry them before you can witness to them, then you might as well marry the whole world, so we know you are serious about soul-winning.

You are not fooling anybody. It is not zeal for God that is your motive, it is your selfish interest.

And for those that talk about love?

Sweetheart, get over yourself.

Love is a commitment and it is very smart. It is not stupid and does not push you into stupid things.

You have feelings for the person is more like it and considering it is a feeling, it is unstable and will go the same way it came.

The reason it is still strong is because you have been deceived into thinking it is love and you can do nothing about it.

Be ye transformed by the renewal of your mind. Teach your mind to understand that love is wise, not foolish and it takes informed decisions.

I hope you understand that I am not talking about only people from other “religions,” I am also talking about Abraham in the choir who is not a believer of Christ, I am also speaking of Deborah in prayer department whose life does not portray Christ.

Don’t be deceived, an unbeliever can be in the church.

I mean, I don’t even understand why we would need to talk too much about this. I cannot stand dating an unbeliever and I don’t understand how any believer can.

You guys have absolutely nothing in common.

Your principles, ideologies, views and everything about you are driven by Christ and Him crucified while the person’s own is from God knows where. Isn’t there conflicts?

I might sound harsh but truth cannot change.

And to appeal to your sentiments, usually, relationships like this look so sweet, they look like you guys can surmount all obstacles at the beginning but you see, the only way the relationship can work is if you compromise your faith or if the person comes to love Jesus (which happens in extremely rare situations).

Choose wisely. The first consideration is whether he or she love the Lord. Every other thing is secondary.


PS: If you are already married to an unbelieving spouse, there is grace. It is not easy but it is possible. I found something online that I think can help you. The writer addressed unbelieving husband but I believe it can work for wives as well. Click here to read it. God bless you!

Unequally yoked