Some time ago, one popular Facebook feminist spoke about anti-feminists on her friend list who ask her out on her inbox and I wonder what is wrong with people.

How on earth can you be against everything someone stands for and expect to be in a relationship with them?

If for any reason they are not the “chop and clean mouth” kind of men, I do hope they have enough sense to see that the relationship is heading for disaster right from the start.

But I know their type.

What would likely happen is that they would seek and do everything to get her and then try to change her. How people think amazes me.

Do they know there are millions of women who hate the word, “feminism” that they can be with?

Oh yes, they know.

But they rather stay with the one who they share a completely different ideology with and try to get her to conform to their own beliefs.

I do not subscribe to anybody changing to fit a particular thing for a relationship. I think you are in bondage when you cannot be yourself in a relationship.

Do not let anybody try to make you what you are not. The one for you would absolutely love you the way you are, without exception, even your flaws.

Now, I am not in any way excusing you personally working on your flaws. I am saying the person for you would accept them and encourage you to become better. He or she would not beat you down over it.

Otherwise, what is the point? What kind of relationship is it where you are not allowed to be yourself and even allowed to make mistakes or be human? If that is what relationship is about, then it is not worth it.

And do we even know what we consider flaws differ from person to person?

I had a friend tell me about how her boyfriend said he can never date her friend because she is too loud. Now, note that this particular friend is her boyfriend’s friend and she met the said boyfriend through her friend.

Also, this particular friend is married and according to my friend, her husband treats her like a queen. This implies that while my friend’s boyfriend does not like some of her qualities, her husband adores her like that.

It seems to me that the boyfriend did the right thing by leaving the lady for a man who doesn’t mind having a loud woman as a wife.

I have always said even before I heard this story that beating people down and complaining and whining about them because you want them a certain way is pathetic.

How about you leave them for the person who would fall in love with that particular thing you are disturbing their life for and go for the one who suits you?

I would never understand it, I’m sorry. I tried to do it in my past relationships but at the end of the day, I just got tired.

And the sad thing about being in a relationship where you are expected to be somebody you are not is that you start believing lies about yourself and start doubting the goodness in you.

Don’t change yourself for anyone. If you have any flaw, please work on it, but don’t let anyone let you lose your essence, don’t let anyone make lose that unique thing that makes you you.

It is not worth it. Being yourself is enough

What am I saying?

Be with your type. Don’t try to panel beat someone to be the kind of person you want them to be. There are millions of people who would suit into your idea of a perfect man or woman, look for them.

Be with your type. Don’t let anyone panel beat you to be the kind of person they want to be with. Someone out there would fall completely in love with YOU.

Being yourself is enough for anyone who wants to love you.

being yourself is enough