Wanting to get married is a valid reason. Unfortunately, many women think this desire is enough to prepare for marriage.
But it isn’t; there are certain important things every woman should do before marriage.
This is because, like people usually say where I am from, “Marriage is the only institution where you get a certificate at the beginning that is meant to last forever.”
This uniqueness already shows that marriage is different. It needs intentionality and preparedness.
That’s why you must know the things women should know before tying the knot. And in this article, I look at those essential things.
Important Things Every Woman Should Do Before Marriage
1. Know Yourself and Values
I can hear someone protesting that they already know themselves. Fine, I have no reason to argue. However, I would say that one cannot completely know oneself.
In my experience, there are times when I surprise myself by the things I do, and I know I’m not alone in this. So, I don’t think we can completely know ourselves.
However, you must know some important things about yourself before saying “I do”. You must know who you really are and what your values are.
You also need to identify what you believe in and what you stand for.
The first reason this is important is that marriage can blur the lines of your identity if you’re not rooted in it. Marriage has the propensity to make you lose yourself if you don’t know who you are.
The second reason is to know whom you should get married to. For instance, if you know your faith is important to you, then you know you can’t marry an atheist or someone of another religion.
Also, if you want children or don’t want a traditional marriage, you know you need to find someone who aligns with these values.
But if you don’t even know this about yourself, how do you know to look for who aligns with those values?
So, you need to take time to explore yourself, reflect, and define your non-negotiables. That way, you can choose a partner who aligns with the real you.
2. Clean Up Your Character
When I decided I wanted to get married, I started doing a lot of self-reflection. I wanted to know my strengths and flaws. But more importantly, I wanted to identify the negative traits that could affect my marriage.
This is because marriage will test your patience, humility, and honesty like never before. It will magnify your character, not repress it. So whatever flaw you have now will be even more of a big deal in marriage.
That is why you need to start working on your character now.
Are you easily offended? Do you hold grudges? Are you kind even when you’re upset? Identify them and don’t just wait for marriage to work on them.
Start cultivating some essential traits for women before marriage, like loyalty, hard work, honesty, gentleness, and the like.
Now, I am not saying you must be perfect. If that were the standard, nobody would get married.
What I am saying is that you need to take responsibility for your attitude, reactions, and behaviour. And work on those that could harm your marriage.
3. Clean Up Your Habits
Besides your character, you also need to clean up your habits.
Think about all the bad habits you recognise and have been ignoring.
Is it messy eating, poor hygiene, or laziness? You need to intentionally work on them because they won’t magically disappear after the wedding. If anything, they become more obvious. So, start building healthy, respectful habits that you can carry into your marriage.
I understand that you might think it’s to impress your partner, and while there is nothing wrong with that, it is more about becoming the best version of yourself.
Plus, breaking bad habits now makes it easier to build a home that feels peaceful and balanced later.
4. Understand Your Marital Expectations
We all want different things out of marriage. I am not talking about unrealistic expectations that only one out of a thousand women gets.
I am talking about well-thought-out and realistic expectations – we all have our different ideas. So, you need to intentionally understand yours.
What does marriage mean to you? And what do you want out of marriage?
Is it 50/50 or traditional? Are you okay with joint accounts, or do you want financial independence? Do you want to be a stay-at-home mum or do you want to work?
You need to have the answers to this so you don’t join the many people who walk into marriage with fairy tales instead of clear expectations.
Sit down, reflect, and figure out what you truly want from a partner and a union.
That clarity will help you choose the right person and communicate your needs with your intended so as to avoid disappointment and unnecessary drama when the honeymoon phase fades.
Also Read: How to Know You Are Not Ready for Marriage
5. Pursue Your Dreams
One of the things women should do before marriage is to pursue their dreams.
Don’t put your life on pause while waiting for “the one” – that will be the wrongest thing to do. Yes, I know wrongest doesn’t feel real, but it’s a word, or at least, that’s what Google said.
Anyway, single women need to chase their dreams rather than waiting for marriage to do it.
I have heard women say things like, “When I get married, I will do so and so,” but again, that’s the wrongest thing to do.
The reason is that marriage comes with responsibilities that could make it more difficult to pursue personal ambition. It is better to start working on your dreams now than to expect to start after marriage.
Trust me, it will be harder then. So start now, and it will be easier to just continue in marriage.
Build that business, get that degree, do that course – do whatever it takes to explore your passions.
Apart from it being more difficult to do in marriage, you’ll feel more fulfilled and confident when you enter marriage as a whole woman, not someone who’s expecting a man to complete her.
6. Enjoy Your Singlehood
Another thing to do before marriage is to enjoy your singlehood.
Like I said, wanting to get married is a valid desire, but don’t pause your whole life because of that.
Don’t stop living because you have yet to get married. Enjoy your life because you might not have the freedom or time to do some of these things again in marriage.
Get close to God, find your purpose, travel (I highly recommend that), try new hobbies, and sleep in without guilt. Get to know YOU.
Marriage is beautiful, yes, but it comes with responsibilities. So while you’re single, soak it all in and live fully. Make sure to make the most of this chapter of your life.
7. Live Alone
Some people might not agree with me, but I believe one of the things a lady can do to be perfect for marriage is to live alone or at least, get some roommates. But the idea is to leave the roost.
There is a lot to learn about yourself if you leave your parents’ house and are responsible for yourself. So, if you can, spend at least a few months living alone before marriage.
Trust me, you’ll learn so much – how to manage your space, pay bills, cook for yourself, and handle solitude. It helps you become independent and builds your confidence.
Living alone also teaches you what kind of environment you thrive in, so when you do share a space with someone, you’re not totally clueless about how to keep your life together.
Also Read: 10 Ways to Build Your Self-Confidence
8. Sort Out Your Finances
Money fights can ruin even the best marriages, so get your financial act together now. Know how to budget, save, invest, and avoid unnecessary debt.
And if you have debts or low credit, now is the time to start working on it. You should also start building an emergency fund and maybe insurance.
All these give you options and peace of mind. Plus, it’s super attractive to walk into marriage as a woman who knows how to handle her money.
Also Read: 10 Money Management Tips to Be Successful with Money
9. Learn Basic Skills
I am not saying you should be a domestic goddess, but basic skills go a long way in marriage. So, learn how to cook a few decent meals, do laundry properly, fix minor things around the house, and manage your time.
I can hear some of my women protesting, but bear in mind that I strongly disagree that learning domestic chores is only for women. I believe they are essential life skills, so I would still be saying this if this article were addressed to men.
Being able to take care of yourself not only makes marriage easier, but it also gives you confidence in your ability to build a home, and not just live in one.
10. Read Marriage and Relationship Books
Love isn’t enough to sustain a marriage; you need knowledge, too. You need to read marriage books that will teach you things like communication, emotional intimacy, conflict resolution, and expectations.
These books will help you walk in with open eyes instead of going in with fairy tale dreams. And when you understand marriage beforehand, the less shocked you’ll be when challenges come (because they will come).
11. Have a Strong Circle of Friends
I know some married women desert their friends after marriage, but make sure you don’t fall into that trap. Trust me, you need your girls even after marriage.
Majorly, because there are just some things a man would never understand, no matter how much he loves you.
So, start building that strong bond now – that’s the only way you will be able to sustain it after marriage.
12. Heal from Your Traumas
Your trauma might not be your fault, but your healing is your responsibility. Unhealed wounds show up in marriage as triggers, insecurity, and defensiveness.
You must start noting them now and working on getting healed. Do whatever helps – therapy, prayer, or journaling.
Do it for yourself, but also do it for your partner, because a healed heart loves better, trusts more freely, and builds a stronger marriage.
13. Take a Premarital Counselling
Premarital counselling is one of the things every woman should do before marriage. This is more for people already in serious relationships or engaged, though.
The married people I’ve spoken to always talk about how premarital classes helped them.
Most churches do it, so if you are a member of a church, you will likely get that compulsorily. But if you don’t have that community, make sure to find one for yourself.
Even if everything seems perfect now, I promise you that you should still not skip premarital counselling. It helps you dig deeper, ask hard questions, and understand how compatible you really are.
Plus, it’s better to uncover potential issues now than be blindsided later.
10 Things a Woman Should Have Before Marriage
Having learnt the things a woman should do before marriage, let’s check out the things to put in place before marriage.
1. A Personal Relationship with God
Faith gives you strength, direction, and peace. A strong relationship with God will also help you love selflessly, forgive quickly, and build your home on a solid foundation.
2. Emotional Maturity
You should be able to handle your emotions without lashing out or shutting down. Marriage requires calm and thoughtful responses, not childish reactions.
3. Self-Love
You need to love and value yourself first. Self-love sets the tone for how others, including your husband, will treat you.
4. A Stable Source of Income
Financial independence gives you confidence and choices. Even if your spouse provides, having your own income will always be an added advantage.
5. Confidence and Boundaries
Know your worth and what you won’t tolerate. Boundaries protect your peace and help you maintain a healthy sense of self in marriage.
6. A Clear Sense of Purpose
Marriage shouldn’t be your only goal. Know what you’re called to do, and pursue it boldly, even after you become a wife.
7. Basic Life Skills
I mentioned this earlier, but skills like cooking, cleaning, and time management will make daily life smoother for you.
8. Good Communication Skills
Being able to speak up, listen, and resolve issues calmly is vital. Healthy communication builds trust and keeps small issues from becoming big ones.
9. A Trusted Support System
Having friends and mentors you can talk to keeps you grounded. You’ll need wise counsel and encouragement, especially in tough seasons. I will add that you shouldn’t marry someone who doesn’t listen to anybody, and you yourself shouldn’t be like that.
10. Healing from Past Hurts
Unresolved pain will show up in your marriage. Heal now so you don’t project old wounds onto your new relationship.
Things a Lady Should Buy Before Marriage
A woman shouldn’t go into marriage empty-handed. Besides all the above, find here tangible things to buy before marriage.
1. Quality Luggage Set
You need a luggage set to store things. You will also need one if you travel as a couple. A durable, stylish luggage set makes packing easier and keeps you organised.
2. Important Documents Folder
Get a safe, organised folder for certificates, ID copies, and other legal documents. You’ll need easy access to them during marital transitions.
3. Kitchen Essentials
Invest in pots, pans, cutlery, and dishes. Even if you’re not a chef, basic kitchenware is a must-have for your home. I know you might think your man should have them, but men cannot be trusted to have the right kitchen essentials.
4. Comfortable Loungewear
You’ll want soft and cosy clothes for relaxing at home. Remember that comfortable doesn’t mean sloppy, it just means cute and comfortable.
5. Matching Towel Sets
Buy at least two good-quality matching towel sets. It adds a touch of uniformity and freshness to your shared bathroom.
6. Personal Blender or Juicer
Health goals don’t stop at marriage. So, a blender to make smoothies, sauces, and more helps with healthy living.
7. Decent Undergarments
You’ll want fresh, comfy, and cute underwear, especially for your honeymoon.
8. Power Bank or Portable Charger
Staying powered up on the go, especially during trips or long errands, is a lifesaver. And I think that’s all I need to say about this.
9. Emergency First Aid Kit
Every home should own a first aid kit because accidents happen. So, get a kit and fill it with bandages, pain relievers, and antiseptics to help you handle small issues at home.
10. Cleaning Supplies
Stock up on toilet brushes, all-purpose cleaners, detergents and whatnot.
11. Basic Tool Kit
Screwdrivers, a tape measure, and a hammer can save you when you need to fix or hang things.
12. Bedsheets and Pillowcases
Invest in soft and breathable bedding, and you will thank me later.
13. Stylish Day Bag or Tote
You’ll need a reliable everyday bag for errands, work, or outings that holds all your essentials.
14. Important Cookbooks or Recipes
Thinking of what to eat every day is one of the most stressful things in life, at least for me. So, if you are like me, having simple, go-to recipes makes meal planning less stressful, especially in marriage.
15. Personal Journal or Prayer Book
Writing helps you reflect and stay spiritually grounded. Use it to track your journey and talk to God or yourself.
16. Skincare and Self-Care Products
Taking care of your skin and well-being doesn’t stop after marriage. So, make sure not to let go of your personal care routine.
17. Basic Makeup Kit
Even if you don’t wear much, having some makeup for special dates or events can boost your confidence.
18. Shoe Rack or Organiser
Consider this to keep the entryway or bedroom tidy. Plus, it will make it easier as you will be sharing space with your man.
19. Fireproof Safe or Lockbox
This will help you keep valuables, documents, and some emergency cash secure. It’s a wise investment for long-term protection.
20. Meal Prep Containers
Buy a set to store leftovers, pack lunch, or even for batch cooking. They help you save time, money, and reduce food waste.
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