I really do not know how to start this letter. Maybe I should start by telling you I love you so much. I see you and I know you. When I need to see you, I look in the mirror. Somehow, looking at myself gives me a glimpse of how you look.
That is just the human in me talking. No matter how you look, I would love you because I know you would turn out great. No child that comes from me would turn out otherwise. You know why? Because God created you. He created you beautifully and fearfully.
Just like I told your brother, the first thing I want you to understand is that we have a Father in Heaven WHO LOVES US MORE THAN OUR HUMAN MIND CAN EVER IMAGINE. I wish you would never doubt my love for you but even if you ever do, NEVER DOUBT GOD’S LOVE FOR YOU.
And I believe that like your daddy and I do, you would love Him too. I believe and know without doubt that you would come to fall in love with Him when you get to know Him for yourself. And I know once that is settled, every other thing is settled.
I do not have to tell you that education is important in this family. But I don’t really enjoy the pattern of education here in Africa. So at home, we would do something about it. Understand that reading is not negotiable. We will practice that culture early on.
I want you to understand as well that in my home we are not respecter of persons but respectful people. We do not treat people well because they are of a high status or because we need something from them. No, everybody we come across deserves to be treated right.
Daughter, I don’t want you to grow up feeling like a second class citizen. I want you to understand that you are a complete human and God is the only one you need to be whole, every other thing is an appendage. Therefore it would break my heart if you let any man make you feel less than you are. I probably would not have to tell you all these but you are African so you need to know what society would confront you with.
You would go to a great school like your brother. Your daddy and I would bother about your education like we would your brother’s; therefore, I would be disappointed if you let a man let our sweat go to waste.
I will expect you to know how to cook and do house chores. I would go extra mile to learn some more for the sake of your brother and yourself but I would be teaching you so you can be a better version of yourself, not because your final destination is some man’s kitchen.
Daughter, I want you to understand that you are not anybody’s foot mat and would expect you to walk in a healthy esteem. However, I would not tolerate disrespect for any human being. I am not teaching you gender superiority. While indeed the only man you are mandated to submit to after your father is your husband – don’t let any man tell you otherwise – I would not tolerate obnoxious behaviour.
Just as I expect your brother to respect you in return, I expect you to respect him as well as every human being, regardless of gender and class.
I want you to know that purity is not old-fashioned. While I want to tell you to keep your virginity and all, I am really more interested in your purity. If you keep your purity, everything would be in place. The people that tell you sexual immorality is what is in vogue are just trying to compensate themselves for the emptiness they feel inside. I understand dear, I have been there but trust me, it is worth it to keep yourself as God expects you to.
It is very possible many men would reject you because of this decision. Have you noticed how stones are everywhere but diamonds are harder to find? Well, we don’t want you ending up with a stone now, do we? We want you to have a diamond. It might take time but he will show up and you will see why those stones that want to destroy your relationship with God don’t matter.
Dear, I want you to understand that submission in marriage is NOT NEGOTIABLE because you need to understand that the submission is unto God and not man. That is why you would need to understand the difference between submission and servitude.
If you cannot do it, marriage is also not for everybody. Don’t stain your garment because of marriage. Hopefully, you get a man whose mum didn’t train like an average African man but whatever the case, that is God’s rule and you would find that it is wise to listen to God. And this is one of the reasons you have to let God choose for you. Don’t be close-minded, beauty is fleeting, feelings are fickle but with the right man, it would be perfect, even the imperfections.
I am quite impatient but I am praying God helps me; I am ready to listen to you. I want you to be free with me, to tell me anything. I want to be your best friend till you get married that is and he becomes your best friend.
Like your brother, I want you to also be confident that you are loved and never doubt it. Like your brother, you would be the best version of yourself.
So help me, God.