Taking umbrage, Eddy stared at Clara with furious eyes. “How dare you!” he shouted. “How dare you read my chats? It’s my phone, not yours. Don’t you know the meaning of privacy?”
Chagrined, Clara regarded her boyfriend. Although she was also in a snit at his reaction but beyond that, she felt a deep hurt. An all-too-familiar pain gripped her and the pain overruled her anger, so much she stuttered in reply, “I thought …. ”
“Thought?” he cut in. “Do me a favour and stop thinking. Your reasoning is warped at best. Reasonable people don’t go through their partner’s phone because they know what could behold them. But obviously, common sense eludes you.”
Clara gasped in shock at his words but wondered why she was so surprised. Verbal battering was a given in her relationship with Eddy, had been for some months now.
She felt her eyes swim in horror but he just continued glaring at her irascibly. By the time the first tear dropped, he shot her a cold look, hissed and left to his room.
Clara sank to the floor, sobbing her eyes out. Why was Eddy so mean to her, why was he completely impervious to her feelings? She had always been a dutiful girlfriend, doing her best to please him.
She loved him, she cried to her heart. He was her life, everything to her. She couldn’t imagine life without him. Even her family could not claim ownership of her heart the way Eddy could. She had given him her all.
She was drained, what more could she do to make him happy? Why was she always crying in this relationship even though it was clear to her that Eddy loved her?
He had been the one to ask her out for goodness sake, he had done everything to woo her. She could still remember it like yesterday.
Clara had met Eddy when she was still working at the bank as a Teller. Eddy had come in for a transaction and had immediately taken to the shy Teller with her tentative smile and innocent eyes. He had waited that day till she closed from work and had given her a ride home.
Eddy had taken it upon himself to be her chauffeur from that day. He dropped and picked her from work with no fuss. It hadn’t taken long for Clara – who had never been treated to that kind of attention – to fall in love.
And when the banking job had started to take its toll on the relationship, Clara had decided to quit without qualms and Eddy hadn’t seemed to mind.
A woman’s side was with her man after all, plus Eddy was more than capable of taking care of them. Eddy had proved to be everything she dreamed of and more.
So it was impossible that he didn’t love her anymore, people cannot just switch off their emotions like that. It had to be her fault; she just needed to step up.
She needed to stop doing stupid things, like reading he and Suzy’s chat. She knew he was cheating on her and even though it hurt like hell to know, she could not let it matter.
He always came back to her, he loved her. Men are polygamous in nature; he just needed varieties, is all. Now, she just has to apologize, he would forgive her.
Having made her decision, she ambled to his room and knocked on the door cautiously. She heard his grunt and took it for approval. He was on his bed, typing on the phone. She imagined he was probably chatting with Suzy and felt berated. Look what she had done now; just pushed him to Suzy. She went to his side and knelt before him. “Baby, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I’ll try to stop doing things that annoy you, please forgive me. I love you.”
Eddy couldn’t believe his ears. He groaned inwardly with exasperation. What was wrong with this lady? Why can’t she read the handwriting on the wall that he was no longer interested? He had expected her to turn away in anger and never return.
How much assault can one person take, for crying out loud? Maybe he needed to spell it out, she seemed block-headed. “Clara,” he started quietly. “I think we need to break up. It’s not working; we don’t love each other anymore.”
“No,” she shrieked, completely ignoring he said ‘we’. “I still love you. I don’t mind if you have other women. I know you have needs. Please baby, what would I do without you?”
“You would think of something,” he answered calmly. “Although I don’t really give you much credit in the sense department but even you can come up with something to survive.”
She gaped at him with wounded eyes and he felt a tug on his conscience but quickly shoved it away. It was no more than she deserved. She was suffocating him with her “supposed love” and he needed air.
“Baby, please,” she said again, almost wailing.
Patience turning thin, Eddy headed to the sitting room, certain she would follow. He took her bag, turned to take her hand and dragged her to the door.
“I’ll pack the stuffs you left here and send it to you when I have the time. Now, I need you out of my house.” Clara tried resisting his shove, so he carried her bodily and dropped her on the threshold, throwing her bag after her.
“Baby, plea …,” but she was talking to the door.
It took Clara about two hours to step into her parents’ house. She was happy to find the house empty, save for the maids. She was not ready to face any questioning in her present mood.
Not that they would even notice or care.
Her parents were busy making money, they practically ignored her existence. Sometimes, she wondered why they had bothered birthing her. Too wound up to bother about uncaring parents, she went to her room and resumed her crying.
This was the worst experience of her life. She felt like the planet had been dragged from her feet and she was left hanging alone in the atmosphere. She didn’t know what to do, she was lost.
When she discovered she was contemplating suicide, she decided to call Dan, her best friend. Maybe he would help her find perspective to the situation.
Dan heard the agitation in Clara’s voice even before she asked to see him. Once they hung up, he made a beeline for her house.
Unbeknownst to her, he had been in love with her since he met her in school. But Clara saw him as no more than her friend. Sometimes he felt like screaming to get her to notice him but he lacked the sophistication she wanted in her men.
IN HER ROOM
Much as she expected, he was in her room in less than an hour already comforting her. He allowed her to cry it out and when she was drained, she asked, “Daniel, what am I supposed to do? Eddy is my life, without him, I’m lost.”
Daniel felt his heart constrict in pain at her words but her welfare was more important at the moment. “Sweetie, you have so much you can do. You are very smart; you have only let him make you become a shadow of yourself.”
“I’m not smart,” she countered sadly.
“Yes, you are. That’s not you speaking but Eddy. You let him abuse you so much you are starting to believe it. Where is the Clara who graduated one of the best students in her class?”
“I don’t know. I just want to be Eddy’s girl, whatever he needs.”
“No Clara, you are more than that. You are first Clara Benson, an individual. What a man thinks or doesn’t think about you is not what defines you. It is what God says that matters. And He says you are fearfully and wonderfully made.”
“You were not created to lose your identity, neither were you born to only function as a woman that belongs to a man. Your first mistake was losing yourself in that relationship and functioning only as Eddy’s girl.”
“But sweetheart, that is not God’s intent, you have your own purpose. You are much more than Eddy’s girl, you are Clara Benson and you were created for more.”